Newseater - Adult Edition

The year’s final roundup of some of our favorite writing from the sex blog scene peeks at all the shiny new toys that have shown up over the holidays—including a lover’s pen, a sexy negligee, a vibrator, and a fuck buddy (or several)—as our intrepid bloggers ring in the new year while not forgetting what made the old one so much fun to remember.

Pop your corks and bring along an auld acquaintance or two with Jefferson after the jump.

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Sex Blog Roundup
by Jefferson

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The Finger Vibe

Now came the important test. I pushed the tip of the vibrator against my tight little asshole. It slowly slid in, but I suddenly became aware of the fact that I didn’t want this thing stuck in my ass, so I made sure that the ring of rubber was firmly around the thickest part of my middle finger. However, there was still some lube on my finger. So I as I tried to fuck myself in the ass with the vibe, I could feel my ass hungry for more, and the vibe was slipping off my finger!

- Sensuality of the Singleton

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69 May Just Be the Best Christmas Present of All

She looked so hot in the baby doll. She stripped down, as I did too, and slid into it wearing no panties or bra. I was so turned on as she posed for me that I did what came naturally to me–I jerked off. “You’re so cute when you do that,” she said. She then turned around, showing me her beautiful ass cheeks, which she gripped as she giggled. “What do you think?” she asked. “I think I want a piece of that,” I replied, referencing her ass.

- All About My Hot Sexy Wife

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Keeping Secrets

Sometimes, it’s been difficult to remain silent about my inner happiness. I tend to “glow” and my eyes don’t mask much or pretend to try. Some people, I think, who aren’t family and who see me on a more regular basis–before and after serving my Owner–probably have a hint or two, but no one has ever really come out of their shell long enough to ask me anything about my choices in life. Although there are times I feel like the whole world knows the secrets burned into my skin and branded into my soul, for the most part, my submission has remained a secret.

- Married Man’s Fucktoy

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My First D/S Experience with a Couple

I recently went on vacation. I was by myself, so I was out every night on the pull. Many of the nights were successful–ridiculously successful, I must say. Normally, when I travel, I keep an amazing journal of all the places that I have been, and all the people that I have met. I always get a great leather bound book, and a beautiful quill pen to record my experiences. My then-steady snog partner back home, 5′10″, blonde, 32, gave it to me as a gift. I had planned to write in it, but I got too . . . busy.

This time, my pen was my dick, and the ink was my cum. Spread over four different places and cities.

- Brooklyn Rake

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Santa’s Gift

“Does Santa want me to ride his candy cane?” I whispered teasingly in his ear. His eyes immediately went to the couch where Joey was, checking to make sure he was asleep. In fact, Joey had turned his back to us and was still snoring away. I smiled at his reaction. I got up, had him sit up and remove his t-shirt. I took that opportunity to check once more, making sure it was safe, and then stepped out of my panties, putting them in the pocket of my robe. As I grabbed the blanket, I noticed Ken had finished removing his clothing, and was laying there anticipating my next move.

- Dirty Couple in Virginia

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Bra

Soon enough I had my pants around my knees and he was paddling my bare ass and thighs. He admired the pinkness it created on my skin as I continued to protest the harsh stinging.

Then he told me to turn around and present my tits for testing the new toy.

- Journey Into Submission

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Thumbnail via KellyMadison.com

Previously: Sex Blog Roundup Archive
 

Original post by Fleshbot

The phrase “la dolce vita” is usually tossed around as a way of describing a sort of perpetually glamorous twilight occupied by rich ne’er-do-wells wearing dark sunglasses and glittering diamonds while they jump into fountains and chase each other around in expensive Italian sportscars. But what a lot of people—especially those who are unfamiliar with Fellini’s 1961 movie—tend to forget is that there’s an equal dose of bitter that goes with all that sweetness. The nights might be all about picking up prostitutes in your convertable and darting paparazzi and fountain jumping, but it’s that pervading sense of desperate melancholy that lingers once the sun comes up.

It’s a credit, then, to directors Michael Lucas and Tony Dimarco that their version of “La Dolce Vita” manages to capture that melancholy while adhering loosely to many of the plot details of the original. In fact, this may be one of the saddest porn movies you’ve ever seen.

Lucas’ “La Dolce Vita” transposes the Rome of Fellini’s original to contemporary Manhattan, mainly that part of it below 23rd Street on the West Side. Lucas plays Max Todd, a pouty journalist afflicted with a nagging case of writer’s block; we follow Max in his mostly nocturnal wanderings from a fashion show to downtown loft parties to a murky subterranean sex club in his persuit of … something that’s never exactly made clear beyond a looming book deadline. Some kind of pornographic angst, apparently.

Narratively, the original “La Dolce Vita” is a cherished classic largely because Marcello Mastroianni’s character remained likeable throughout all his skirt chasing and party hopping; by contrast Michael Lucas’s character, through accident or design, isn’t someone who we want to get to know better or particularly care what happens to, and the case of writer’s block that frames his character comes off less as a matter of creative torment than it does a three-hour bout of constipation.

Missing from Lucas’ adaptation as well is Fellini’s sense of absurdity and ironic wonder about the lifestyle he’s depicting: while the original “La Dolce Vita” showed a Rome filled with glamorous contessas and movie stars and nightclub freaks, Lucas’ New York is populated almost exclusively with Marc Jacobs-clad Chelsea boys (when they’re not totally naked, that is), save for a few demimondaines (Kevin Aviance, Amanda Lepore, Michael Musto) who function mainly as set decoration during the opening fashion show sequence. All those parties and pageants are depicted without a trace of ironic detachment; even that famous fountain-jumping scene (starring straight porn siren Savanna Samson, looking gorgeous as can be) seems sort of perfunctory in an “isn’t this outrageous!” sort of way. So it mostly ends up being less a commentary on the emptiness of a certain kind of gay existence than an earnest documentary of what makes life in Manhattan so fabulous if you happen to be Michael Lucas.

Still, there’s that pervasive (and gorgeous) melancholy throughout that makes “La Dolce Vita” so fascinating, thanks largely to photographer Tony Dimarco’s gauzy, dreamlike depiction of New York City and a haunting soundtrack by nekked and Keith Nolan. You’ll be more likely to remember the movie’s mood and atmosphere instead of its plot details and occasionally stilted dialogue after you’ve seen it—an admirable quality in any film, but especially one you probably started watching just to find something quick to jerk off to.

Most people don’t watch porn for the atmosphere, though, so it’s a good thing that “La Dolce Vita” also includes some of the hottest sex scenes Lucas has ever filmed. Of particular note are the pairings of Ray Star and Brad Star as a straight movie star stud and nightclub stripper, respectively (and not just because they happen to share the same nom de porn and tattoo motifs) as well as college twink jamie Donovan and sexy daddy Spencer Quest (who’s afterwards exposed to be an underage chicken hawk, which makes his scene with Donovan vaguely creepy in retrospect. But it’s still hot.) We wish Lucas exclusive Ben Andrews had been used to better advantage than his backstage quickie with Jack McCarthy which opens the film (and which you’ll miss if you skip around via the DVD chapter menu); and while the scene with the adorable Cole Ryan and the ever-dependable Chad Hunt should have been one of the best in the movie given our fondness for both, it never quite gets going as much as we’d have liked it to. (But that may be because we have a particular crush on Cole Ryan, fetching lisp and all. So maybe we’re just jealous.)

A THC-enhanced threeway with Lucas, Jason Ridge, and Derrick Hanson might have been more interesting had it stuck to the setup in the original film, where Marcello Mastroianni and Anouk Aimee pick up a prostitute and have sex in her squalid bedsit while she sits sipping coffee in the next room, though it would have been a shame to have Hanson missing out on the action in this case; after all, if there’s an extra set of plumbing to be had in a porn movie, you might as well use it. The other sex scenes that star Lucas himself work if you like watching Michael Lucas have sex, and while he’s a gifted sexual performer he tends to dominate every scene he’s in at the expense of his fellow performers. Then again, we’re not just watching a porn treatment of “La Dolce Vita” here; we’re watching Michael Lucas’ “La Dolce Vita”, and he doesn’t want you to forget it.

So while it’s occasionally frustrating to see “La Dolce Vita” creep along under the weight of Lucas’ ego, it still remains one of the most ambitious porn movies we’ve seen in a long time. And whatever you may think of Lucas himself, he deserves a lot of credit for largely succeeding in what he set out to do. It may not reach the sublime heights of its source material, but in its vision and polish “La Dolce Vita” is still several notches above any porn film you’ll see this year. For that reason alone, it ends up being a classic of its own kind too. - JD

· Michael Lucas’ “La Dolce Vita” (ladolcevitaxxx)
· “La Dolce Vita” Gallery (Fleshbot)
· Glamour shots by Joe Oppedisano for Lucas Entertainment

Previously: Fleshbot Party Crash: “La Dolce Vita” Premiere, La Dolce Vita: Teaser Trailer on YouTube, Marc Jacobs Porn Shoot, Michael Lucas and Chad Hunt … Together Again! (For Now), Spencer Quest Joins Lucas

Original post by Fleshbot

Webby Lifetime Achievement Award winner Prince is apparently looking to add “magazine publisher” to his rock resume: The musician is…

Original post by Fleshbot

You know that Gerald Ford book pitch you’ve had sitting on your desk since the mid-80s? No time like today…

Original post by Fleshbot

Never ones to pass on an opportunity to publish pictures of Keeley Hazell (they’re sorta like us that way), the fine folks at Zoo Weekly have put together their own retrospective of the 100 best topless photos of the year—with running commentary by none other than Keeley Herself. (Sample copy: “Wow! Are those breasts fake?”) Naturally the list is top heavy with British birds, but with so many buxom babes to choose from over there, it’s hard to blame them. We’re not sure if our personal list would match theirs, but over the course of 2006 the magazine has quietly become our go-to source to fill our daily allowance of cheesecake, so we trust their judgment on this matter. Plus, we’re just too darn lazy to do it ourselves, so we’ll just offer our thanks to them for all their hard work this year (and to DailyNiner for the scans.)

· Zoo Weekly’s 100 Hottest Topless Pics of the Year (dailyniner.com)

Previously: FHM: The Long Goodbye

Original post by Fleshbot