Your Ad Here

Archive for June, 2007

Weekinreview: Flashbot Fleshback: Notice Anything Different?

Posted in AB, fleshback, Roundup, weekinreview, straight on June 29th, 2007

2007_6_28_ps7.jpg
· Be honest … does this new layout make our ass look big?
· Our West Coast Bureau Chief took a much needed vacation all the way over in Los Angeles. It really is like another planet.
· Oh, and there were awards, too! We hope IKEA doesn’t run out of shelves.
· Britney Spears can dress herself, thank you very much. She just chooses not to.
· Teenagers, you say? On teh internets? Who are the ad wizards who came up with that one?
· The Mangina … don’t leave home without it.
· You guys are getting better at this porn titles thing. Don’t quit your day jobs, though.
· Remember, it’s not the size of the axe, it’s how you swing it. Unfortunately, from now on we’ll be bludgeoning you with a heavy club. See ya, Monday!

Original post by FLESHBOT

Stormywatch: DVD Review: Stormy Daniels in “The One”

Posted in pornstars, ponante, hardcore, couples, AB, straight, sunny lane, stormy daniels, Randy Spears, stormywatch on June 29th, 2007

2007_6_29_one1.jpgTonight begins a long weekend of barbecues, volleyball and, if you’re especially lucky, sweaty debauchery in the shallow end of your boss’ pool. Wicked Pictures is the largest purveyor of couples‘ porn to those consumers who like their smut hopeful, soft-edged, and easier than “Dirtpipe Milkshakes” to ask for at their local video store.

Stormy Daniels plays a woman just like you trying to make sense of relationships while burdened with a tiny frame from which jut massive spheroid breasts. Read our review of “The One” after the gap. - GP

- - -

The One

Studio: Wicked
Director: Jonathan Morgan
Cast: Stormy Daniels, Brianna Love, Cassie Young, Delilah Strong, Katie Morgan, Kelly Kline, Nicole Sheridan, Sunny Lane, Eric Masterson, Evan Stone, Mr. Pete, Randy Spears, Voodoo

Review by: - GP

2007_6_29_one2.jpg

A couple is visited by ghosts of relationships past in order to deal with their current boy/girl woes.

It’s tough being Jen (Stormy Daniels), so starved for a relationship that she can’t have meaningless sex with a guy without telling him she loves him. And it’s tough for Dave (Voodoo), who, when Stormy tells him she loves him, runs out of the room.

Wicked’s latest couples’ flick, written by Daniels and directed by Jonathan Morgan, aims to deliver the elusive mainstream movie - but with sex - that other studios aspire to. The mood is light and the sex is positive. But can the story sustain it?

2007_6_29_one3.jpg

Out in the hallway, Dave bumps into ex-girlfriend Roxy (Sunny Lane), who guesses Jen’s problem right off the bat.

“How can you love someone who obviously doesn’t love herself? She’s so insecure, she sticks bags of poisonous water into her chest to get men like you to justify her womanhood.”

Daniels’ script is festooned with fun lines like this, and sometimes the performers pull them off and sometimes they don’t.

2007_6_29_one4.jpg

“I was just trying to find myself,” Roxy says of a previous infidelity.

“In someone else’s vagina?” asks Voodoo.

Jen and Dave are visited by several of their exes in the course of the movie, and the flashbacks depict what made them exes in the first place. Randy Spears, Delilah Strong, Nicole Sheridan, and Evan Stone cameo as particularly oily characters.

If the movie has great ambition but doesn’t live up to it, is it still better than a movie that doesn’t even bother with a story? Hard to tell, but the effort makes The One a winner. After all, there are boatloads of Hollywood movies featuring actors who can’t wrap their mouths around their dialogue but who don’t compensate by wrapping them around anything else.

2007_6_29_one5.jpg

My only problem with the movie is that it is lit murkily. Very few scenes take place in the daylight for such a sunny film. These pictures were all taken from the promotional stills rather than screengrabs, which were considerably darker.

The movie ends happily, with both principals realizing that it should be easy to say “I love you” to a porn star.

· Stormy Daniels (clubstormy.com)
· Wicked (wickedpictures.com)
· Buy “The One” (gamelink.com)

Original post by Gram Ponante

Pornofthemoment: What Would Fleshbot Readers Do? Almost All-Star Break Edition

Posted in ponante, hardcore, baseball, AB, straight, pornofthemoment, WWFRD on June 29th, 2007

2007_6_29_wwfrd.jpg“Bitch Bitch Bitch.” That’s my impression of our comment-hungry overlords. Who would have thought that all you needed was a little creative outlet? The winner of last week’s first “What Would Fleshbot Readers Do?” porn titling contest was a person named CloudCarrier who titled the Chelsie Rae movie “Wheeeee!Gasms 25″. We chose this because Chelsie Rae makes us go both “Hmmm” and “Wheee!” (as well as “Bo-WANGhee”). Today we’ve a slightly more sinister boxcover for you to name. With luck, you will wax rhapsodic about our national pastime as America’s birthday nears. Corking! - GP

· Jerkoff Zone (jerkoffzone.com)

Previously: Porn of the Moment Archive

Original post by Gram Ponante

Flesh Flicks: Flesh Flicks: Did Someone Have A Rough Day?

Posted in flesh flicks, clips, video, bondage, bdsm, japan, ropes, AB, straight, Shufuni, Pain on June 29th, 2007

2007_06_29_ff.jpgIt’s still early in our re-deployment stage, but we already get the sense that some of our readers might feel like the Japanese schoolgirl featured in this video—caught unawares, tied up in knots, confused, distressed, short of breath. These are the symptoms of those who fear change, and you’re not alone. So fret not, little ones. We’ll smooth out the kinks and get through this together—bigger, faster, stronger. That’s when the real pain … er, fun begins.

· Syuudan Rinkan (Shufuni)

* * * * *

Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

Original post by FLESHBOT

Fetish Is Where You Find It: How To: Properly Direct Your Balloon Fetish Tips

Posted in fetish, directory, balloons, inflatable, AB, Crushing, straight, Fetish Is Where You Find It, looners on June 29th, 2007

2007_06_29_balloons.jpgIt’s hard out there for a balloon fetishist. All the circus jokes and helium-voiced insults take their toll, so whenever anyone speaks kindly of the lifestyle in public—like say, the editor of a certain gossip website—such kindness is not forgotten. Through no fault of her own, one of our comrade bloggers is suddenly receiving tips on where to find good ballooning content on the web. Right corporate family, wrong address!

Fortunately, Sister Emily has agreed to forward any future inflatable correspondence to the proper authorities—namely us. We wouldn’t say that we’re experts or anything, but we have traversed these rubbery trails before and the page she was pointed toward really is more along our beat. Although we appreciate the title, Carefree Blowjobs is actually about nothing of the sort, but is instead a directory of looner content pointing to photo and video galleries of babes and the balloons they love to blow up … oh! … carefree blowjobs. Now, the world makes sense again.

· Free Balloon Inflatable Bubblegum Fetish Video Clips Pictures (carefreeblowjobs.net)
· Related: Glaring Omissions (Gawker)
· Thumbnail star: Racquel Devonshire (racqueldevonshire.com)

Previously: Looney Nudes, Mellyloon, Balloon Directory, Video Playpen: More Chicks With Balloons

Original post by FLESHBOT