Newseater - Adult Edition

“I don’t like how your pies taste,” says this hapless husband, caught in the act of pastryphilia by his wife and a gaggle of girlfriends in (wait for it) “Attack of the Clothed Female/Naked Male.”

“So you fuck it?”

We have been eager to show you this title but we keep getting waylaid, as if by “Pirates”. A niche that (mostly) finds clothed women giving handjobs to naked men, this example of CFNM involves the likes of Abbey Brooks, Sophie Dee, Heather Gables, and Kylee Reese, among others, in configurations such as Jailer/Jailed, Pie Fucker/Gaggle, and Comatose Man/Nurses.

Not an inch of the five separate parts of the female anatomy commonly seen in porn is exposed in “Attack of the C.F.N.M.,” and that may be disappointing to some viewers. But as Thomas Jefferson said, “I may not agree with your choice to not show Abbey Brooks’ boobies, but I will fight to the death for your right to not compromise a porn niche sacred to maybe two dozen Americans.”

While humiliation is a factor in some of these scenarios, at least the fellows enjoy some release at the end of their ordeal. Such as this guy, who probably hasn’t seen too many good times since the royalty checks for “Two Princes” stopped coming.

galleryPost(’CFNM’, 12, ‘’);

· Pink Visual (pinkvisual.com)
· Buy “Attack of the CFNM” (gamelink.com)

Original post by Gram Ponante

Had we known that San Francisco had lesbians in it, we would have stopped there on our way to this weekend’s Sausalito Chili Cook-Off. But we must leave it to the intrepid Madison Young as she plumbs the depths, or somethings the something, of the Bay Area lesbian scene in “Lesbian Life: Real Sex San Francisco.”

“Everywhere I look in San Francisco I find hot lesbian sex,” says Madison Young, our A href=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2×32g5GOjU8″>Huell Howser of vagitarian culture. But it is a city of contrasts.

“San Francisco is known as a hotbed of lesbian and gay culture,” Young says. But lest you think Journey’s City by the Bay is heterogenous, “it’s also a city of lust, love, and random sexual encounters that lead to explosive orgasms.”

No doubt this tidbit will help San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom in his bid to be California’s next governor.

Young’s first stop is Dolores Park, known as a “Dyke Park” and a perfect spot to show off one’s monkey bar skills and read Rilke (probably ironically, dead white male and all, but he gets a pass because of the “Maria”).

A helpful travelogue for tourists more interested in a Lombard Street of the Heart, “Lesbian Life” weaves its way through lesbian garages, coffee shops, and tattoo parlors, often connecting each scene with a character from the previous one.

And if residents sometimes complain of that 49-sq. mile thumb of land feeling claustrophobic, they can get some consolation they share the foggy peninsula with old friends like Lorelei Lee, Shawn and Jiz Lee from the Crash Pad, and Dylan Ryan from the Strap-on Motel.

Sadly, Young only appears as the narratrix, not as a perfomer, but have no fear: In addition to the hot lesbian sex going on everywhere in San Francisco, each resident seems to be reading Young’s cover story in Spread.

galleryPost(’leslifesf’, 26, ‘’);

· Madison Young (madisonbound.com)
· Buy “Lesbian Life: Real Sex San Francisco” (lezlovevideo.com)

Original post by Gram Ponante