Newseater - Adult Edition

The nuns taught us that “Tom Byron’s House of Ass” had many mansions, and we didn’t understand it then and we don’t understand it now. What is important is that this 10th installment is the last installment (”I’m going to take a break,” Byron says) and that in this house, Charley Chase has a fantastic basement.

What is the thematic difference between Byron’s series “Lord of Asses” and “House of Ass” other than, say, spelling?

Perhaps this confusion influenced Byron’s decision to jettison one of them.

“I’m known as the Lord of Asses,” the veteran performer says, graying and sporting a pair of hipster glasses, “so I thought I’d switch it up. I’m going to start a series called ‘The King of Cootchies,’ so I can have sex with all the pretty girls who don’t take it in the ass.”

Can you just declare yourself King, Tom? If so, then you would take the throne in an assless coup.

But back to Charley Chase. (And we mean it when we say “back.”)

“That was a big load,” says Chase when the deed is done.

“I don’t know,” replies Byron. “The old man has his moments.”

I also take issue with the title. The women in this movie - Lexi Belle, Scarlett Fay, Chase, Mina Leigh, Brynn Tyler - are all so much more than their asses.

I guess everyone has at one point shouted “Oh shit” when having sex. But if I were the script supervisor on this film I would have suggested that Brynn Tyler not say “Oh shit” in a place called the House of Ass.

“It’s going to be great to fuck you,” says Byron to Scarlett Fay as she peers at him over his penis. How does he know? Is he, like, Nostradam-ass?

So we look forward to “The King of Cootchies,” just as long as there isn’t a parallel series called “House of Cootchies.”

. . .

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· Tom Byron (tombyronshard.com)
· Buy “Tom Byron’s House of Ass 10″ (mondoerotica.com)

Original post by Gram Ponante

There is very little that is better about our job than that we are paid to cruise the internet looking for pictures of Cassandra Calogera’s naked body. There is no angle from which she is less than terrific. Cassandra has a fantastic pair of 36DD natural tits, and we appreciate them, because we are definitely breast people here at the ‘boob—um, the ‘bot—and we could look at them and think of what we would do with them and contemplate their full, lush gravity and…well.

All those things we could do for days and days. So lots of pictures of them are great for us, and her many movies are even better. But there are other parts to a woman. Internet, take heed. Do you know how many Google image search pages we had to cruise before we found a decent picture of her ass?

More than she has had birthdays.

· Cassandra Calogera at IAFD.com (www.IAFD.com)
· Buy “Cassandra Calogera’s movies” (www.gamelink.com)

Original post by pweasels

It must be a heady feeling to get what you wish for. Just ask Angelica.

George Carlin used to do this routine about practicing for rain dances – if you did the practice and it rained, did you go ahead with the actual dance? And if it didn’t rain, how did you know you’d practiced it right? We feel the same way about “I Want to Be A Dream Girl.”

Now that you’re in a DreamGirls video, Angelica – with your superb 36D tits and your fully functional and gloriously callipygian 42-inch ass and your adorably cute face and all your other delightful parts and features – now that you’re right there in the movie, what is left to want?

· DreamGirls (www.DreamGirlsvideos.com)
·Buy “I Want To Be A DreamGirl #51″ (gamelink.com)

Original post by pweasels

I can’t pretend that Vivid’s “40 Inch Plus #8″ is a monumental title. It is not, for example, a “Dirtpipe Milkshakes.” For one thing, it is very easily confused with my own “8 Inch Plus #40″ and Cat Stevens’ “Catch Bull At Four.” But it and its seven big-booty precursors have a twist: The asses are actually measured, on camera, with measuring tape! Not only that, but Claire Dames’ own ass nearly busts out of her jeans as if controlled by tiny ass motors.

Another reason to get this movie is if you’ve ever confused the male performer Christian with the performer Derrick Pierce. Both bald white men are in the movie, so viewers can say “Oh that’s Christian” and “I hope he didn’t get hurt by Claire Dames’ ass.”

To its credit, “40 Inch Plus #8″ is not one of those movies that looks like it’s backstage at a Ludacris video. Asses are oiled and measured tastefully, and the few instances of deliberate booty-shaking are almost Presbyterian in their modesty, but not so slow that one can read the inscriptions of the performers’ trampstamps.

This is what makes your urge to grab whole handfuls of ass that much more poignant, because you don’t feel manipulated into the decision.

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· Vivid (vivid.com)
· Buy “40 Inch Plus 8″ (gamelink.com)

Original post by Gram Ponante

Self portraits are hardly a new thing, but since the advent of the digital camera (and, for that matter, MySpace) they’ve become vastly more common place. While the current crop of self portrait artists may not be quite as stylistically accomplished as, say, Cindy Sherman, they’re certainly accomplished in other, equally important ways. The sexy ones. (bugehoobs.com)

Original post by Lux Alptraum