Newseater - Adult Edition

We’ve been following the upwardly mobile career of Jules Jordan director Mike John for some time now. In a sea of less relevant pornographers, John continues to impress with a series of well-crafted titles focusing on the core essentials of great smut, keeping it filthy and feeding our darkest desires. His latest release, “Semen Sippers 7,” continues in that prurient tradition—and with verve!

Each scene features a minimum of two sultry anal starlets, both crowding around the dusky tumescence of a swarthy swordsman before taking turns stretching each and every orifice with the ample genital offerings that John provides. The results are nothing short of wonderful to watch.

The omnipresent Jada Fire joins Adrianna Nicole, Bobbi Starr, Riley Evans, Carolyn Reese, Fleshbot Crush Object Dana DeArmond, Claire Dames, Charley Chase, Charlotte Vale, and Chayse Evans in this epicurean adventure of cum swapping.

. . .

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· “Semen Sippers 7″ (julesjordanvideo.com)

Original post by DCypher

Director Mike John reconvenes his, uh, seminary as he preaches his gospel of love and natural protein in the second installment of “Praise The Load” for Jules Jordan. And as if having a congregation of devout damsels like Rucca Page, Darryl Hanah, Claire Dames, Cassandra Calogera, Carolyn Reese, Allie Foster, and Adrianna Nicole kneeling to receive a special kind of baptism weren’t enough, he also miraculously managed to avoid appending “The Second Cumming” to its title. (We almost used it in the title of this post, but in the end Kay Kyser won out, as he so often does.)

Despite its quasi-religious marketing concept, “Praise The Load 2″ doesn’t adhere to any particular dogma aside from the one which dictates that every money shot in a porn flick needs must end up deposited in the mouth of a willing supplicant. Which is something even dedicated heathens like us can take on faith.

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“Praise The Load 2″ hits the shelves this week.

• “Praise The Load 2″ (more pics + DVD info @ julesjordanvideo.com)

Original post by DCypher

Had director Eric Everhard come to us for advice on what to name his brand new tribute to mammoth mammaries and the guys who splooge all over love them, we would have told him that equating such beloved performers as Gianna Michaels to mere slabs of protein might turn off those viewers with more refined sensibilities—to say nothing of vegetarians. But he didn’t ask us, and so we have no choice but to offer you a helping of “Breast Meat” for today’s hardcore preview.

Then again, do people really pay much attention to porn titles except to make fun of them like we do? After all, the main thing you need to know about the movie is that it stars a bevy of porn beauties of more than ample proportions, including Jordan Star, Carolyn Reese, Laylah Diamond, Riley Evans, and the lovely Monica Foster in addition to aforementioned Fleshbot Crush Object™ Gianna. And in that regard, the title is perfect at least in that it contains the word “breast” in it.

So maybe Everhard was right after all. We’ll just stick to writing for you from now on.

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• “Breast Meat” (DVD info + more pics @ julesjordanvideo.com)

Original post by DCypher

Usually the directness of most porn movie titles tells you exactly what you can expect once you crack open that DVD case. And in some ways, Evil Angels’ “Anal Beach Bums” does not depart from this tried and true formula: the movie contains more than its fair share of anal exploits, some of which we understand actually took place near a beach. But that title is a little misleading as well, or at least not entirely descriptive as it could have been. For, you see, “Anal Beach Bums” contains some of the most astounding circus-style sex acts we have witnessed in a long time.

Watch Bobbi Starr juggling large black balls while balancing between two giant rods! Thrill to the sight of Emilianna and Carolyn Reese performing death-defying feats of cunnilingus! Marvel as Ricki White and Rucca Page make one man’s meat completely disappear within their fleshy confines—and you won’t believe how Velicity Von and her sexy assistant Lexi Love manage to charm Sean Michaels’ raging python into submission!

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Of course, you won’t see Ashley Blue pulling a string of large anal beads from her nether reigons before getting tongue fucked by Melissa Lauren in any big top we know of. After all, this ain’t your usual greatest show on earth.

• “Anal Beach Buns” (DVD info @ evilangel.com)

Original post by DCypher

They say that everything that comes around goes around … except in porn, where it cums around. However you spell it, that old saw has never been truer as it has been lately in the world of adult entertainment, where things have gone decidely retro: it seems no matter where we look we’re confronted with smut styled to call to mind those halcyon days when pubic hair wasn’t something to be ashamed about and cocaine was something you could still feel good about doing

The latest contender to throw their OP board shorts into the ring is Sin City Entertainment: not only does their new logo remind us of the sort of typography we used to see on muscle car posters in Spencer Gifts, but they’ve even gone ahead and recycled the title of both Nick Zedd’s seminal 1988 art porn short and a still-current all-girl series by DVSX for their new feature! And director Ariella takes this regression one step further by blending a mixture of established performers with relative newcomers in “Whorgasm”, which stars Chennin Blanc, Ginger Blaze, Jennifer Dark, Mina Lee, Carolyn Reese, and Holly Wellin. (OK., we guess dropping that E does make it a completely different title. Still.)

Alas, the only other thing really interesting about “Whoregasm” aside from its rad box cover is that awesome title—it’s certainly not that hoary pre-”Boogie Nights”-era plotline involving high-priced call girls and the affluent and powerful men who pay for them. And the often tepid performances don’t help matters much either. Still, we at least found the preview pics diverting enough to share with you here and see if the power of free porn still counts for anything. Let us know how they work out for you.

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· Sin CIty’s “Whorgasm” (sincityfilms.com)

Original post by DCypher