Newseater - Adult Edition

Everyone has their own vision of heaven—provided you believe in that sort of thing (we’re undecided). Even the nonbelievers among us have visions of hot blondes, however— and we’re pretty sure there are more than a few of you out there who think heaven is a place where those dreams of hot blondes can finally come true. And, hey, if this clip is to be believed, you’re not too far from the truth. Now let’s just hope the only qualification for to getting into heaven really is just abstaining from murdering the ladies. Cause if that’s the case, well, heaven here we come!

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· Fucked By an Angel (RedTube)

Original post by Evelyn Leigh

We’re not very good at the game Scrabble, because you can’t use words from the several extinct Amazonian languages that we are fluent in. (Plus, you can’t use spell check.) There are alternate rules, however, that can make the game a little more spicy. We recommend relaxing the definition of what is and isn’t “vulgar usage,” because once you and your playing partners can agree on what turns a dull game into a good sport, the rest falls into place.

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· “scrabble threesome” (RedTube)

Original post by Dashiell Bennett

Have you ever been camping in Yellowstone National Park? As you may be aware, the place is filled with powerful geysers that shoot amazing amounts of steam and water high into the air. It really is a spectacular sight to behold, as this video footage of an actual eruption shows. You have to be patient while you wait for the natural fountain to release her contents into the open, but in the meantime there is plenty more panoramic scenery to enjoy. And when that spectacular gusher goes off though, you’ll understand why it was worth the wait. (Note: You might want to grab towel before you hit play. Mother Nature can get awfully messy sometimes.)

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· “mega squirt at camping site” (RedTube)

Original post by Dashiell Bennett

Ballerinas tend to be rail thin, light as a feather, and extremely dainty—all the better to hurl them violently through the air across the stage. We, on the other hand, prefer our dancers with a little more heft … particularly in the upper front torso region. Oh, we still like it when they’re bendy and athletic and are capable of balancing in awkward positions for long stretches of time. But we also like to have something soft to hold on to. That probably explains why we’re not very good patrons of the fine arts.

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· “ballerina” (Megarotic)

Original post by Dashiell Bennett

Hanging out in your stepmom’s bedroom just hoping to get a glimpse of her tits is generally not a good idea, but in the porn world—and that’s the beauty of the porn world—it never fails. After all, we’ve had plenty of things that we wanted to “get out our system,” but have yet to find someone so willing to oblige. Getting stuff out your system is pretty much the only reason this site exists, of course, so we do sympathize with this situation. If you have something you want to get out of your system, maybe this will help.

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· “stepmom handjob” (Megarotic)

Original post by Dashiell Bennett