Newseater - Adult Edition

We were a bit skeptical about the idea of an “expert guide” to threesomes. Unlike blowjobs or handjobs, good threesome technique isn’t really something you can demonstrate—it’s more a learn by doing type of thing.

But since we’ve been impressed by the previous installments of the Expert Guide series, we figured we’d give this one a shot. And, true to form, Tristan impressed us with her efforts. Rather than setting itself up as the end all, be all of threesomology, the “Expert Guide to Threesomes” acts more as a general guide to group sex.

In the educational intro, Tristan explains different threesome configurations, lays out some basic rules, and goes over different roadblocks and pitfalls encountered by couples looking to have a threesome. While its no guarantee of a problem-free debut into the world of group sex, the “Expert Guide” is a good way for couples to open up a discussion about going beyond a twosome—and even if end up deciding that the threeway isn’t your way, you’ll still get to watch some hot group sex porn.

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Original post by Lux Alptraum

Now that we’ve crossed the precipice into the cold heart of a lonely winter recession, it’s hard to recall the halcyon days behind us. Fading images wistfully haunt our memories like ghostly vapors, as we try to relive those days spent lounging and exploring new levels of excess—like when we had those 17 stunning lesbians come over to the sun drenched West Coast Fleshbot mansion in bikinis and frivolously frolic in and out of the pool in varying states of undress while midgets in diapers lend a vacillating air of depravity and absurdity. And just when we thought it was all a forgotten dream, Tera Patrick goes and releases her latest “all star” lesbian pool party movie… and it all comes rushing back to us. God bless you, Miss Patrick!

If our extensive experience in this area has taught us one thing, it’s that we can’t bring this many lascivious porn stars together without them eventually fucking each other senseless. And, as we’d expect, Tera Patrick, Daisy Marie, Daisy Dukes, Madison Scott, Kayla Paige, Angie Savage, Mya Luanna, Charmane Star, Lexi Belle, Maya Gates, Shawna Lenee, and several of their friends do exactly that, stripping out of their bikinis and lapping away at each other like kittens enjoying seventeen fresh bowls of cream. The results are disturbingly good, making us feel as immoral and decadent as an AIG executive with a golden parachute after the bail out. Move over, Hef—Tera wants to show you what the grotto should look like every single day of the week.

If anything, Tera’s given us hope in a way that even our President Elect can only allude to. While most of us will have to tighten our belts this holiday season, finding pleasure in the simple joys of life, we can always look forward to history repeating itself. Our eyes are glassy after watching these lovely ladies work themselves into a frenzy, dreaming of a time when we will once again be able to blaze up our medical grade hydroponic with freshly minted hundred dollar bills. In fact, with ideas this good, we’re thinking Tera for Prez 2012. You with us?

“Tera Patrick’s Pool Party” is available this week.

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· Teravision (teravision.com)

Original post by DCypher

This past Friday night, Penthouse threw a release party at Los Angeles’s Boulevard 3 in celebration of the upcoming movies “Liar’s Club” and “Scandalous,” directed by Randy Spears and Kelly Holland. Presented by JR Petro Productions and Another Jaw Dropping Productions, the event was attend by pets like Fleshbot Crush Object and host (and my ex-fiance) Justine Joli, Daisy Marie, Kayden Kross, Renae, Tori Black, and the luscious Lux Cassidy (and, to protect all this hotness the exclusive event was monitored by a private army of security and sponsored by Penthouse Clear Energy Drink, Vision Limousine, & Cattier France Champagne).

Penthouse director Marcus London walked the red carpet with his beautiful wife Devon Lee. Mick Blue made the scene with Diana Doll. Eric “Swiss Balls” Swiss showed up with two uninhibited starlets and gave everyone a partial sex show. Justine brought an entourage composed of several hot models including punk rock pin-up lesbian Zoli Suicide. Mmmmm.

Other fabulous celebrity type porn people in attendance included Lisa Demarco, Brandi Wood, Sophie Scarf, Shy Love, Jenny Hendrix, Eric Everhard, Marco Bandaras, Magdalan St. Michaels, James Bartholet, Ashlyn Brookes, Christian XXX, Lexi Belle, Evan Stone, Pete Warren, Dan Miller, Chris King, Zander Kane, Tony Batman, Lexi Tyler, Cleatis Mack from Digital Underground, Lexi Love, Layna Lee, Nita Strauss, Alyssa Rose, Sarah Beth, Kat Scarlett, Alexis Gidden, Heather Scarlett, Kiera Kiss, and two crazy UCLA students who snuck in and then obnoxiously crashed the red carpet. We snapped them anyway thinking maybe we were being punked by Sasha Cohen for his upcoming Bruno movie.

The evening’s festivities included exotic painted models serving cocktails, an exclusive live burlesque performance by Carmit of the Pussycat Dolls, plus the ridiculously sexy all girl group Killy Slowly playing something or other. Go-Go girls gyrated to the sexy hip-hop beats, and libations liberally flowed until the wee hours of the morning. Pets dry humped each other up and down the VIP while onlookers gawked. We drank so much with the Pets that we had to be driven home and spent two days recovering before writing this post. You see the lengths we go to just for you? You are all very, very welcome.

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Original post by DCypher

Wicked Pictures contract star jessica drake is a woman who needs no introduction. With a veritable legion of die hard fans, the AVN Award winning sex symbol has more than earned her acclaim, starring in handfuls of unforgettably steamy sex scenes that have been seared into the zeitgeist of the nation’s libido for eternity. (Translation: we love to watch the girl screw. Got it? Good.)

These days, it seems as though the transition from performer to director takes the average starlet all of about 6.5 movies. Not so for this sultry sex goddess: drake took her time basking in her hard won praise and loving every sticky second of being nothing short of a highly coveted seductress. Having worked her way up through the ranks of hardcore gonzo titles to the prestigious upper realms of the high-end adult feature, drake spent years with Wicked, serving as the head contract girl and live-in girlfriend of its most prominent auteur. So it stands to reason that her directorial debut, “What Girls Like”—a glorious exploration into the sex lives of seven culturally and sexually diverse starlets—should reflect her cautious tutelage.

Not content to stand on the sidelines, drake throws herself into the mix with fellow contract stars Alektra Blue and Mikayla Mendez, following through with a few lust-inspiring heartbreakers like Brooke Belle, Daisy Marie, Jada Fire, Michelle McLaren, and Sammie Rhodes.

Only time will tell if this initial offering will make the grade—but from all appearances (and, for that matter, photographic evidence), we’d say the girl is well on her way to Stormy Daniels status (and good luck to her!).

“What Girls Like” is currently available everywhere great porn is sold.

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· “What Girls Like” Trailer (wickedpictures.com)
· Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)

Original post by DCypher

When current reigning porn queen Tera Patrick decided to go back to her humble gonzo roots and prove that she can still fuck as nasty as all those callow up-and-coming porn starlets do these days, who did she call? Why, none other than pornographic legend Ed Powers, himself arguably a relic from the days when setting up a Betamax in your living room and filming yourself fucking barely legal girls half your age was considered cutting edge.

Actually. we’re not sure exactly what Ed contributes to “Tera Goes Gonzo”; we were too bust watching Tera and her costars to analyze things too much. But one thing is clear: with a supporting cast that includes Nautica Thorn, Daisy Marie, Roxy DeVille, Gianna Lynn, Kelle Marie, and Stefani Morgan, we’re more than willing to endure whatever other support staff Tera decided to hire to get things done.

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In other news, we hear that TeraVision has also leased out the CERN Large Hadron Collider in Geneva and will harness its awesome power to travel back to 1982 and make a real proto-gonzo video. In the meantime, however, “Tera Goes Gonzo” hits the shelves later this month..

• Tera Patrick (all things Tera @ terapatrick.com)
• Order: “Tera Goes Gonzo” (adultdvdempire.com)

Original post by DCypher