Newseater - Adult Edition

The porn parody you have been waiting for has finally arrived. Like a tiny, dirty time capsule it will tell the tale of one great man’s fall for generations to come, like Oedipus only not as gross.

“The media is like the weather, only it’s man-made weather.” Mickey Knox, Natural Born Killers

It seems like only yesterday that professional super golfer Tiger Woods was on top of the world. Then came the fall. The rest is, as they say, tabloid history. Even as we write this, the number of alleged mistresses continues climb more rapidly than an early stage venereal infection racing towards seroconversion. Mirroring this rapid growth phase like a tiny microcosm are the number of porn parody spin off’s, a walking zombie apocalypse of poorly constructed parody essentially holy unbirthed by the toxicity of the media event. The fact that two of the accusing mistresses are actually porn (escort) stars means that this twisted fairy tale was guaranteed to devolve into a living breathing simulacrum of Baudrillardian proportions no matter what happened—a sexual carnival colliding into demented Disneyland for adults.

Out of this mess, one parody dared to rise above the rest, labeling themselves the official Tiger Woods porn parody and claiming the controversy from day one. That movie was “Tyler’s Wood” from Adam & Eve. Directed by the ubiquitous David Lord, the parody de jour was the final contract movie for blonde sex goddess Kayden Kross before moving over to Digital Playground. Shot at the outset of the uproar, when news reports were adding details hour by hour, making the script an evolving work in progress, production did not wrap until the wee hours of Christmas Eve.

But can something born out of hype, wrapped in hyperbole, and spoon fed to the masses ever live up to its reputation? We’d like to think it just might, but in the end only you can decide. Which is why we’re going to refrain from too much commentary, leaving these exclusive pictures that only Fleshbot has to speak for themselves. We will, however, leave you with the scene order, so that you can work out who did what to whom.

“Tyler’s Wood” stars Kayden Kross fucking Evan Stone, as well as Diana Doll. It also has Tyler Knight having a magnificent threeway with Andi Anderson and Richelle Ryan before making sweet, dirty, orgasm inducing love to Natasha Nice. It is available now via the interwebs and VOD and will be out on DVD before you know it. Let us know what you think.

· Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)

Tyler Knight and Natasha Nice
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight, Andi Anderson, and Richelle Ryan
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight, Andi Anderson, and Richelle Ryan
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight, Andi Anderson, and Richelle Ryan
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight, Andi Anderson, and Richelle Ryan
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight, Andi Anderson, and Richelle Ryan
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight and Natasha Nice
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight and Natasha Nice
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight and Natasha Nice
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight and Natasha Nice
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight and Natasha Nice
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight and Capri Cavelli
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight and Capri Cavelli
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight and Capri Cavelli
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight and Capri Cavelli
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight and Capri Cavelli
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight and Capri Cavelli
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight, Andi Anderson, and Richelle Ryan
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Kayden Kross and Diana Doll
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Kayden Kross and Diana Doll
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Kayden Kross and Diana Doll
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Kayden Kross and Diana Doll
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Kayden Kross and Diana Doll
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Kayden Kross and Evan Stone
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Kayden Kross and Evan Stone
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Kayden Kross and Evan Stone
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Kayden Kross and Evan Stone
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Kayden Kross and Evan Stone
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Kayden Kross and Evan Stone
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Kayden Kross and Evan Stone
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Kayden Kross and Evan Stone
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)

Original post by DCypher

The porn parody you have been waiting for has finally arrived. Like a tiny, dirty time capsule it will tell the tale of one great man’s fall for generations to come, like Oedipus only not as gross.

“The media is like the weather, only it’s man-made weather.” Mickey Knox, Natural Born Killers

It seems like only yesterday that professional super golfer Tiger Woods was on top of the world. Then came the fall. The rest is, as they say, tabloid history. Even as we write this, the number of alleged mistresses continues climb more rapidly than an early stage venereal infection racing towards seroconversion. Mirroring this rapid growth phase like a tiny microcosm are the number of porn parody spin off’s, a walking zombie apocalypse of poorly constructed parody essentially holy unbirthed by the toxicity of the media event. The fact that two of the accusing mistresses are actually porn (escort) stars means that this twisted fairy tale was guaranteed to devolve into a living breathing simulacrum of Baudrillardian proportions no matter what happened—a sexual carnival colliding into demented Disneyland for adults.

Out of this mess, one parody dared to rise above the rest, labeling themselves the official Tiger Woods porn parody and claiming the controversy from day one. That movie was “Tyler’s Wood” from Adam & Eve. Directed by the ubiquitous David Lord, the parody de jour was the final contract movie for blonde sex goddess Kayden Kross before moving over to Digital Playground. Shot at the outset of the uproar, when news reports were adding details hour by hour, making the script an evolving work in progress, production did not wrap until the wee hours of Christmas Eve.

But can something born out of hype, wrapped in hyperbole, and spoon fed to the masses ever live up to its reputation? We’d like to think it just might, but in the end only you can decide. Which is why we’re going to refrain from too much commentary, leaving these exclusive pictures that only Fleshbot has to speak for themselves. We will, however, leave you with the scene order, so that you can work out who did what to whom.

“Tyler’s Wood” stars Kayden Kross fucking Evan Stone, as well as Diana Doll. It also has Tyler Knight having a magnificent threeway with Andi Anderson and Richelle Ryan before making sweet, dirty, orgasm inducing love to Natasha Nice. It is available now via the interwebs and VOD and will be out on DVD before you know it. Let us know what you think.

· Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)

Tyler Knight and Natasha Nice
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight, Andi Anderson, and Richelle Ryan
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight, Andi Anderson, and Richelle Ryan
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight, Andi Anderson, and Richelle Ryan
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight, Andi Anderson, and Richelle Ryan
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight, Andi Anderson, and Richelle Ryan
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight and Natasha Nice
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight and Natasha Nice
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight and Natasha Nice
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight and Natasha Nice
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight and Natasha Nice
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight and Capri Cavelli
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight and Capri Cavelli
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight and Capri Cavelli
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight and Capri Cavelli
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight and Capri Cavelli
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight and Capri Cavelli
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight, Andi Anderson, and Richelle Ryan
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Kayden Kross and Diana Doll
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Kayden Kross and Diana Doll
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Kayden Kross and Diana Doll
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Kayden Kross and Diana Doll
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Kayden Kross and Diana Doll
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Kayden Kross and Evan Stone
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Kayden Kross and Evan Stone
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Kayden Kross and Evan Stone
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Kayden Kross and Evan Stone
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Kayden Kross and Evan Stone
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Kayden Kross and Evan Stone
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Kayden Kross and Evan Stone
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Kayden Kross and Evan Stone
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)

Original post by DCypher

Porn ripoffs parodies of things that were topical three years ago are like settling into a comfortable pair of shoes: they are familiar and safe, and make us think of a time when gas wasn’t so expensive, it looked like the Democrats would win in 2008, and “The Sopranos” was still on. We received Wicked’s “The Housewives of Amber Lane” recently and thought, “Awww, at least it’s not ‘Britney Rears’.”

A star vehicle for veteran pornstress Amber Lynn, any intellectual property-type objection we might have is countered with, “Aw why shouldn’t Amber Lynn have a movie named after her?”

Don’t look at us! Look at dreamy Nick Manning! What’s the matter with you?

Performer/director Randy Spears presents two shots of superhero housewives floating mysteriously above their partners.

You will never see belly fat or floppy boobs in a Wicked feature. Maybe that should be their motto instead of “What Excites You.”

· Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
· Buy “Housewives of Amber Lane” (gamelink.com)

Original post by Gram Ponante

The lowered standards of many gonzo titles we’ve seen lately have left us feeling pretty bummed out, after all, when we watch porn we expect to see hot chicks and hung guys who look like they enjoy fucking each other, not something that looks like leaked interrogation footage shot by Rick Solomon at Abu Ghraib. Fortunately, the fifth release in Third Degree’s unique “Ready Wet Go” series is full of nothing but enthusaistic performers working hard to earn your love and attention. Then again, what else would you expect after seeing Fleshbot Crush Object Gianna smiling at you from the cover?

The only problem people might have with the DVD is the nature of the Ready Wet Go” series itself. Is it merely just gonzo series? Is it an oil fetish spectacular (and if so, why doesn’t it say so in the title)? Or is it simply something made for anyone who appreciates callipygian women with various glistening substances all over their bodies?

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Ultimately, though, such fine-grained matters of classification are besides the point. What’s important here is that Gianna is joined by Diana Doll, Brittney Stevens, Brianna Luv, and the amazing Alexis Texas, all of whom turn in some pretty great performances without anything like plot or atmosphere to get in the way—and who all look like they’re having a hell of a good time doing it. Whatever you want to call it, you can’t ask more from your porn than that

· Order: “Ready Wet Go 5″ (Adult DVD Empire)
·3rd Degree (thirdmovies.com)

Original post by DCypher