Rocco Siffredi, “Animal Trainer” [DVD Review]
Posted in ponante, wtf, fetish, hardcore, gallery, dvd, bdsm, european, AB, photoplay, straight, DVD Review, Rocco Siffredi on September 10th, 2008
With the amount of porn sent to me (for free!) every week, I have come to appreciate any non-standard scene setups. There are only so many times, for example, I can watch Darryl Hanah absently masturbating on a couch as a cock enters from the left of frame before I … well, watch a hundred more scenes just like it. Thank the Intelligent Designer that Gawker pays me so handsomely!
See how Rocco Siffredi upends our sensibilities after the gap. (Just don’t mention the title to PETA.)
. . .
The opening of European star Rocco Siffredi’s “Animal Trainer 24″ finds an artist painting two mesh-clad models, one adventurous, one overcome with Euro-ennui, as some homunculus emerges from a nearby stream and begins posing with them. If the whole continent hadn’t been ruined for me by “The Final Countdown,” I’d be on a plane there right now.
Eventually the painter gets in on the action, too, as the narrative demands.
The next scene joins the previous one in dispelling the myth that European porn actresses lack affect. The game Caty says, in English broken just the right way, that she “like to be this way.” She is slapped around with a penis as the narrative demands.
In the next scene, an artist colony setting, Siffredi surprises two nymphs spying on one of his muses. “Are you scared?” he says to one of them, holding out a ball gag. “You know what’s that.” Another man joins in.
“It’s too much!” says the muse.
“It’s not too much,” replies Siffredi.
Siffredi’s performers dive into each other like a bowl of spaghetti. They slap, they spit, they fall over themselves to get at each other. While the camera never seems to pan out far enough or stay anywhere long enough to provide the flesh landscapes Americans enjoy, what Rocco’s movies do is paint a picture of a place in which everyone and his brother - as well as a sea monster - get in on the action.
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· Evil Angel (evilangel.com)
· Buy “Rocco: Animal Trainer 24″ (tlavideo.com)
Original post by Gram Ponante
“Couples’ movies”—the porn term for movies with plots and scripts—fight an uphill battle for the hearts, minds, and pants of consumers. Today we look at New Sensations’, er, tentpole movie for 2008 AVN award consideration, the military porn drama “Hearts And Minds 2″.
When you took your SATs last year, doubtless you encountered the analogy “Love is to porn as sports is to X.” And if for X you chose “professional wrestling” you will be delighted with today’s feature film spotlight, which combines porn and wrestling in the same way couchbound people yearned for Alien and Predator to get it on.
The latest of porn’s attempts to marry the pageantry of wrestling to the domain of fake internal popshots, “Not Rated Pro Wrestling,” like its predecessors bankrolled by Extreme Associates and Sin City in the late ’90s and early oughts, has realized that the flimsy high concept storytelling of porn has been used in wrestling for generations.
My personal belief is that no man is ever truly surprised when the woman he’s with reveals herself to be a transsexual, a dominatrix, or a Mormon. So Mistress Berlin’s question of Julian at the beginning of “Gia Darling Will Kick Your Ass!” is part of the elegant dance between domme and sub, like French Court face-saving protocol. Of course he knows he’s about to get beaten, pegged, and “forced” to fellate a transsexual, but the savvy domme also knows to pretend he just fell into her clutches. See that question after the gap.
It’s hard not to think of any porn movie that bills itself as “dark, squalid, and ominous” as missing another adjective: pretentious. But even after struggling our way through the copy that adorns the (rather gorgeous) box cover of “Hospital” along with assorted surgical implements and bloody smears, the only word that describes how director Benny Profane’s new Vivid Alt release makes us feel is excited. Then again, Mandy Morbid always makes us feel that way anyway.
The plot, such as it is, involves Our Mandy being punished for past misdeeds she cannot recall by an evil (and diabolically horny) hospital staff. It seems that Mandy and her con artist boyfriend (played by Fleshbot superhero and Mandy’s real-life beau Zak Sabbath) did some Bad Things which earned Mandy a semi-private room in the hospital of the title, where her doctor tells her she’s to undergo treatment for being a “drug addict and a sexual deviant”. Not one to let other people decide what’s best for her or her body, Mandy jams a pencil into his skull: “No one fucks with me! I just want to go home!” She is then rescued by her boyfriend and the two celebrate her homecoming with a hot threeway with Coco Velvett. And that’s pretty much it. End credits.
So we have to say that “Hospital” wasn’t nearly as dark and ominous as the box cover led us to expect. But here’s the good part: it isn’t pretentious either. To its credit, the movie doesn’t take itself seriously at all: everyone seems to be having an absolute hoot playing doctor and/or nurse—especially the delightful Caroline Pierce, who has a grand old time in a supply room with fellow bad nurse Sochee Mala and a strapon while Mandy watches confusedly (and turned on-edly) from a shower stall. (And we can’t even begin to describe how we feel about hot newcomer Marie McCray, so we won’t even try. Let’s just say hot and dizzy are the least of our symptoms.)