Newseater - Adult Edition

Michael Ninn has returned, and even though his comeback movie “Nymphetamine” appears to have been shot on the set of a cosmetics commercial, there is nary a monobrow or varicose vein to be seen.

Nymphetamine

Studio: Celluloid Addiction
Director: Michael Ninn
Cast: Janas Cova and Jordan, Karlie Montana, Cekeste Star, Faye Reagan, Charlie Laine, Heather Carolin, Georgia Jones, Jennifer Dark, Alyssa Reece

Review by: Gram Ponante

In fact, fans of Ninn will rejoice, for there is no mistaking “Nymphetamine” for anyone else’s movie.

Angular, high-heeled, and haughty pornstresses make their way across floodlit sets littered with oversize spheres and reflecting pools and have their stylish ways with one another. With a little less digital penetration and a sepia filter the whole movie could be an Obsession ad, but for one new tool in Ninn’s post-production portfolio.

Ninn seems obsessed with bullet-time, the slow-mo, pan, and speedup technique made famous by “The Matrix” trilogy and refined by “The 300.” It was Ninn’s porn version of the latter movie for a soured partnership with the gentlemen’s club chain Spearmint Rhino, “The Four,” that seems to be the inspiration for this kinder, gentler, plotless, and manless vignette film.

While “The Four” languishes in legal limbo, “Nymphetamine” works within a sparser landscape and just has porn women doing what they do best under such conditions, and looking icy and inaccessible doing it. We assume they’re having a good time, but I doubt we will see any of Porn’s current crop of big, sloppy barmaids sploshing lustily in their belly rolls in “Nymphetamine 2.”

And this singularity of vision is what makes Ninn an artist. Of course the likes of Georgia Jones, Faye Reagan, Jana Cova (formerly of Digital Playground), and Jana Jordan (formerly of … NinnWorx) would only be found picking their way among severe and whitewashed three-dimensional shapes - they are the embodiments of better girl/girl sex through geometry, and “Nymphetamine” is the perfect movie to have playing in the waiting room of your edgy architect’s office - it’s like “The Fountainhead” with trim, flush labia.

We’re happy to have you back, Michael Ninn. But just once I’d like to see someone like Sara Vandella get nailed on a pallet of Carl’s Jr. Six Dollar Burgers in one of your movies.

. . .

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· Celluloid Addiction (celluloidaddiction.com)
· Buy “Nymphetamine” (xonair.com)

Original post by Gram Ponante

Wanton harlots eagerly devouring ample engorgements with their hungry anal cavities is nothing new to us. Why, then, does hot glee butterfly through our intrepid insides at this timely seventh offering from Mike Johns?

Perhaps it’s that, from deep within the hollow curve of this festive yule season, a dark yearning has arisen in our hearts—a need to see something truly decadent that plummets to the depths of our soul. In short, we’re craving the kink big time! Why, it’s nothing short of a moral imperative that we gaze on in abject wonder as Bobbi Starr and Marie Luv have the elasticity of their rectal cavities tested harder than the waistband of a fresh pair of Fruit of the Loom.

In all earnestness, Mike Johns’s latest release, the modestly titled “Elastic Assholes 7,” could not have arrived at a more perfect moment as far as we are concerned.

Along with the aforementioned morally unfettered beauties, Rebeca Linares, Hannah West, Emma Heart, Jada Fire, and Tatiana Kush answer the call of our unyieldingly lust—performing sphincter defying acts of temerity with hearty vigor and unrepentant zeal. More than anything, we’d like to offer them our heartfelt gratitude for helping to assuage our darkest carnal appetites by prying open their hot, tight puckers and allowing such savage paramours to ravish them completely before showering them in piping hot loads of freshly churned fuck butter like a baptism.

You have no idea how much we needed it this week, ladies.

“Elastic Assholes 7″ releases this week from Jules Jordan Video.

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· Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)

Original post by DCypher

We were already pretty dumbstruck when we learned that “Girls Girls Girls 2″ contains a scene with Joanna Angel fucking Sasha Grey… but now to learn that it also features Penny Flame and Alexis Texas?

We may have to take a week off when this movie comes out. We’re going to need some time to recover from the hotness.

· “Girls Girls Girls 2″ Trailer (youtube.com)

Original post by Lux Alptraum

Digital Sin dropped your xmas present off to us early—so naturally, we opened it. Ha! What’s that? Why yes, as a matter of fact it is a heaping handful of naughty blond street meat.

How’d ya guess? No. It’s not a new release, though. Sorry. You know you’ve been bad. For chrissakes, look where he dropped it off,

Indie rocker Ani DiFranco once sang that for the fish in the bowl the castle is a surprise every time. These days, a lot of studios remind us of the lyric. Comp after endless comp, we’re left swimming in shallow and totally forgettable garbage rehashed from yesteryear—like a bad case of deja vu, or herpes. So if something catches our attention from this bottom feeding genre, you know it’s gotta be special. “Blondstravaganza” may be just that, maybe. We’re not sure. But at least we’re sure it doesn’t suck.

Bleach bottle blondes blow big boned bastards before banging bouncing booties beyond belief, boy. Betcha didn’t know Santa’s got the sweet tooth for mixing alliteration with his kink, didja? Act like you know.

What more can we say? Enjoy some sweet strange, even if only in your mind. It’s been a crazy year. You’ve earned it. After all, fantasizing about popping sweet blond cooch is what the holidays are all about (oh, and family, and presents—but mostly new hot young juicy piping hot snatch howling in ecstasy while getting hammered). Happy Holidays!

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· Digital Sin (newsensations.com)

Original post by DCypher

To say that the randy TrophyMILF flick “Mrs. Conduct” is a Christmas movie would be a lie. But these women get everything they want anyway.

Studio: Digital Playground
Director: Celeste
Cast: Sienna West, Devon Lee, Darryl Hanah, Sky Taylor, Kayla Synz, Rayveness

Review by: Gram Ponante

Watching Porn Valley trophy milves and cougars in their natural habitats - houses with floors that amplify the clacking of their heels, filled with art that neither they nor their husbands look at - is the aim of Digital Playground’s Mrs. Conduct, perhaps the second in a trilogy that began with the Janine Lindemulder movie Mrs. Behavin’ and which, also perhaps, will climax with Jesse Jane in 2011’s Mrs. Tery Train.

That I didn’t say Mrs. Carriage makes me “classy.”

Like all Celeste movies, Mrs. Conduct is a playful series of vignettes, this time featuring time-honored porn tropes of predatrices-turned lusty submissives.

In one scene, Darryl Hanah commands two underwear-clad workers to service her. In two other scenes, a bearded James Deen attends to his girlfriend’s mom or to a delivery customer with no tip money. My favorite scene features Kayla Synz in a Mrs. Robinson role, with Synz looking like the 90’s era porn star she was born to be, all angles, legs, surprising curves, and anachronistic haircut.

Like a Wicked movie, though, Mrs.Conduct is distractingly lit. Each scene seems like a dream sequence - which I guess it is - but the cumulative effect is that it looks like the white balance was adjusted too high and then forgotten about.

This drugged feeling should not take you out of the movie, however. Its pluses include the casting of Rayveness, Hannah, and Sienna West as well as Synz, each unmistakeably of the trophy wife school of cougars. We imagine the things they get up to when not seducing household staff; they must at least know how to program their DVRs with ease.

To think that Jesse Jane is actually a MILF (though by one definition, that of being a mother with a child old enough to have friends who would entertain impure thoughts about his mom, Jane is not) is fun to consider while watching this movie, filled with women not much older than Jane but who look the part of bored and bejeweled housewives the way she cannot. Great casting.

While the bright and fuzzy lighting might cause headaches, there are plenty of things populating Mrs. Conduct that would provide quick relief if you’d just do what your mother told you and put some elbow grease into it.

. . .

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· Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
· Buy “Mrs. Conduct” (tlavideo.com)

Original post by Gram Ponante