Eros Zine’s Johnny Homicide might have a name that only a mother could love, but right now he’s got a plethora of highly detailed porn reviews that have us swooning with glee. Read ‘em and weep as he covers “Creamplosions” and more tasty treats. (eros-zine.com)
Original post by Violet Blue
Trudy and Mark seem to have a loveless marriage. He is bored at his job, and she wonders if he is bored with her, too (already this strains credibility, considering what she wears to pour coffee). Regardless, off he goes to work, and then the deceptions begin.
The most important part of a porn movie is not the plot … is not the plot … is not the plot. This is what they told us at the Columbia Porn Journalism Review. The most important thing, and what “Tru Lies” happens to have in spades, is people it’s pleasant to imagine having sex with. Oh, but the plot….
Read our review of “Tru Lies” after the gap. - GP
Tru Lies
Studio: Sinsation
Director: Dee
Cast: Brooke Banner, Marcus London, Chris Cannon, Mika Tan, Sledge Hammer, Jeanie Marie Sullivan, Presley Maddox, Jeremy Holmes, Nikki Hilton
Review by Gram Ponante
Trudy, you see, is actually a secret agent who—believe it or not—uses sex as her calling card. Donning a black wig, she plants something on john Chris Cannon’s night table, and then proceeds to fuck him (for the government). While I think she could have just left when he went into the bathroom to clean up before their coupling, she went all the way, like an American.
Meanwhile, Brothel Boss Tanaka (Mika Tan, all crinkly in leather goods), demands extra service of her manservant.
“Stop being such a lazy fuck!” she demands.
Crime Boss Palermo, a loan shark, not only demands a 50 percent interest rate on loans, but also “a piece of your tight little ass”. In this case, the piece comes from Presley Maddox.
As if the rate of exchange wasn’t already a little confusing, Mark’s officemate needs to borrow his room for some (as his date calls it) “sweet lovin’”. The date, like Trudy before her, is also a spy. Taking advantage of his freshening up, she steals a CD from Mark’s desk, but then proceeds to have sex with his officemate.
“I got exackly what I needed,” the second spy says at the end, come on her face.
The viewer by this point might be forgiven for wondering how these scenes are connected, other than the fact that the characters seem to be spies or criminals.
I might be going out on a limb here, but at no time does sex really need to happen in this movie. (Though I’m glad it does.)
The deception can’t last forever, and by the end of the day Mark is at Boss Tanaka’s bordello. She blindfolds him, saying she has a surprise, and in walks Trudy in yet another wig. Somehow the three get through most of a throwdown before Trudy realizes Mark is her husband. She doesn’t even cock her head like Scooby when she figures it out.
For a movie to have a plot, it must have a budget for one. The budget of this movie was big enough so that there was no excuse for the plot holes, often dismal lighting, and sometimes lackluster acting. My argument is that if money has been paid for a script, then the execution and proofreading of that script shouldn’t be an afterthought.
Otherwise, Tru Lies is chock full of leggy and juicy eye candy—and Tan, seemingly directing herself, delivers a fun performance.
· Sinsation (sinsationpictures.com)
· View “Tru Lies” (aebn.com)
Original post by Fleshbot
There are more flavors of Hustler’s “Barely Legal” series than there are of “Law & Order”, but as of today there are still more adult award shows. Still, the question shouldn’t be whether or not the world needed an interracial “Barely Legal”, but why it took this long?
This movie features Germany’s fascinating Annette Schwarz, who has been legal in both her native country and this one for a few years, but that should not dampen your enthusiasm for this milestone, but instead whet it. And thus whetted, why don’t you take your new Benetton ad sensibility and watch “Mexxi-Melts“, too? - GP
· Hustler (hustler.com)
· Buy “Barely Legal Jungle Fever” (gamelink.com)
Original post by Fleshbot
· Be honest: was the headline accompanying this picture of Patricia Heaton’s see-through dress a little too obvious? (drunkenstepfather.com)
· We don’t know what the big deal is, but Janet Jackson’s breasts look fine to us. She has boobs, there’s two of them, what more do you want? (celebitchy.com)
· No one can agree on the size of the porn industry, but one thing is certain: It’s bigger than the population of Iceland. But apparently not bigger than the stuck up Radisson hotel that canceled their adult conference. Like they’ve got anything better to do up there in the winter. (icelandreview.com)
· It’s time for Encyclopedia Brown and the Case of the Mysterious Porn DVDs Left Scattered on the Ground Near A School. Can our hero solve the puzzle? (myfoxtwincities.com)
· It looks like you can still get drunk while throwing dollar bills at the girls at Scores. (For now.) Whew … that was a close one, wasn’t it? (ny1.com)
· Parishioners in church on Ash Wednesday heard sexy noises emanating from the pews. Was it a stupid prank or an act of God? He does work in mysterious ways. (freenewmexican.com)
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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives
Original post by Fleshbot
Maybe we are biased toward the older-seeming (we are, collectively, 22), but in addition to the unsettling lisping and lollipop-toting of young Gabriella Romano, she chose as her debut the oddly-titled “Black Dick in Daddy’s Daughter,” which begs the question: Where was Mom?
Join us after the gap for some pictures as well as some amazing dialogue delivered straight to the camera. - GP
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When Daddy’s not home i like to do dirty naughty things. Things you can’t imagine. My Daddy thinks I’m a virgin. I’m not. - Gabriella Romano
If your dad thinks you’re a virgin, then he deserves everything you’re doing to him.
We don’t know too much about Ms. Romano at this early date, but her speaking voice is exactly that of AVN Best New Starlet Naomi. Might they be sisters? (We don’t think so.)
Romano’s first scene is characterized by very little eye contact with her scene partner, the movie’s director Jean-Claude Batiste. Admittedly there is no missionary position involved so eye-to-eye contact is difficult. Still, the constant asides to the audience would leave me feeling inadequate, if I were Batiste.
Just like a tootsie roll, but I got the cream filling. - Gabriella Romano
Tootsie Rolls don’t have cream filling! That’s a Ding Dong, or a Ring Ding! Say it: DING DONG.
I better clean up this mess before daddy comes home and sees a black man’s come on my ass. He’ll smack me harder than this man did. - Gabriella Romano
“Black Dick in Daddy’s Daughter” also stars Kiara Marie, Isis Ray, Kinzy Jo, Lorena Sanchez, and Gwen Diamond.
· Hustler (hustler.com)
· Buy “Black Dick in Daddy’s Daughter” (gamelink.com)
Previously: Porn Valley Dispatch Archive
Original post by Fleshbot