Newseater - Adult Edition

Hustler’s not the only one who can capitalize on the upcoming election: Wicked just announced four new four-hour long compilations designed to remind you of your civic duty. Between “50 State Masturbate,” “Iowa Cock-Ass” (isn’t it a little late for that one?), “We The Peep Hole,” and “Gallup On His Pole,” we’re sure you’ll find some reason to feel proud of your country. And hey, if you choose the wrong compilation, at least you’ll only be stuck with it for four hours… instead of four years. (avn.com)

Original post by Lux Alptraum

It seems like every time an election rolls around someone ponders the sexiness of Democrats versus Republicans, sometimes with pretty entertaining (or more often, pretty tired) results. Now Red State and Blue State citizens alike can battle out their own version of “Hot or Not?” on the newly launched SexiestParty.com, where anyone who’s not already burnt out on faux Palin porn can participate by uploading their own photos or just casting a vote for party hotness. Or notness. Each vote refreshes the page and you won’t find out the party affiliation of the babe you’re ogling until you cast your vote, which does give a gloss of scientific impartiality to the proceedings. Still, we suppose it will all come down to partisanship instead of actual, objective boinkability in the long run. Maybe each party can add a few hardcore TGP affiliate links to their websites to help shore up the economy in the meantime?

· SexiestParty (sexiestparty.com)
· See also: “Site Sparks Political Sexiness War” (10zenmonkeys.com)

Original post by Violet Blue

Despite all the twittering about it today, we’re not really concerned whether VoteForTheMILF.com was really set up by the McCain campaign or not—we’re more bummed that it doesn’t redirect to, say, Vicky Vette’s site. After all, we always prefer to throw our support behind someone who’s actually qualified for the job at, er, hand. (election.twitter.com + vickyathome.com)

Original post by Fleshbot

Despite the fact that Comedy Central’s “Indecision 2008″ blog has just described newly minted Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin as being “as MILFy as they come”, we’re having a hard time finding any pictures of her that would convince us whether she actually looks as good in a bikini as Helen Mirren does. Why couldn’t she have been governer of a state that was a little warmer, fer crissakes? (blog.indecision2008.com - thanks Eric)

Original post by Fleshbot

As of this afternoon, we’ve finally figured out how we’ll be able to avoid having to decide whether to support Barrack Obama, Hillary Clinton, John McCain, or Shari Lewis And Lamb Chop when primary season rolls around next year: we’ll be voting for Screw magazine founder and eminent Dirty Old Man Al Goldstein for President. It makes sense when you think about it: as a former porn publisher you can be sure he’ll only appoint smut-postive attorneys to our nation’s legal system (thus avoiding a repeat of certain embarassing situations for the administration), and his own personal struggles over the last few years will make him more sensitive to things like the plight of the homeless and income tax reform. And in addition to his antiwar position and enlightened stance on issues like gay marriage (”If a gay person wants to marry, let him suffer too”), his platform also includes daily government subsidized cunnilingus for all women and a promise to “continue to hate George and love bush”. For us, the choice is clear. (Espcially since Shari Lewis is out of the running anyway. Bless her heart.)

· Al Goldtsein For President 2008 (goldstein08.com)
· Al Goldstein (Wikipedia)
· Al Goldstein’s Blog (booble.com)

Original post by Fleshbot