Newseater - Adult Edition

The porn parody you have been waiting for has finally arrived. Like a tiny, dirty time capsule it will tell the tale of one great man’s fall for generations to come, like Oedipus only not as gross.

“The media is like the weather, only it’s man-made weather.” Mickey Knox, Natural Born Killers

It seems like only yesterday that professional super golfer Tiger Woods was on top of the world. Then came the fall. The rest is, as they say, tabloid history. Even as we write this, the number of alleged mistresses continues climb more rapidly than an early stage venereal infection racing towards seroconversion. Mirroring this rapid growth phase like a tiny microcosm are the number of porn parody spin off’s, a walking zombie apocalypse of poorly constructed parody essentially holy unbirthed by the toxicity of the media event. The fact that two of the accusing mistresses are actually porn (escort) stars means that this twisted fairy tale was guaranteed to devolve into a living breathing simulacrum of Baudrillardian proportions no matter what happened—a sexual carnival colliding into demented Disneyland for adults.

Out of this mess, one parody dared to rise above the rest, labeling themselves the official Tiger Woods porn parody and claiming the controversy from day one. That movie was “Tyler’s Wood” from Adam & Eve. Directed by the ubiquitous David Lord, the parody de jour was the final contract movie for blonde sex goddess Kayden Kross before moving over to Digital Playground. Shot at the outset of the uproar, when news reports were adding details hour by hour, making the script an evolving work in progress, production did not wrap until the wee hours of Christmas Eve.

But can something born out of hype, wrapped in hyperbole, and spoon fed to the masses ever live up to its reputation? We’d like to think it just might, but in the end only you can decide. Which is why we’re going to refrain from too much commentary, leaving these exclusive pictures that only Fleshbot has to speak for themselves. We will, however, leave you with the scene order, so that you can work out who did what to whom.

“Tyler’s Wood” stars Kayden Kross fucking Evan Stone, as well as Diana Doll. It also has Tyler Knight having a magnificent threeway with Andi Anderson and Richelle Ryan before making sweet, dirty, orgasm inducing love to Natasha Nice. It is available now via the interwebs and VOD and will be out on DVD before you know it. Let us know what you think.

· Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)

Tyler Knight and Natasha Nice
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Tyler Knight, Andi Anderson, and Richelle Ryan
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Tyler Knight, Andi Anderson, and Richelle Ryan
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Tyler Knight, Andi Anderson, and Richelle Ryan
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Tyler Knight, Andi Anderson, and Richelle Ryan
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Tyler Knight, Andi Anderson, and Richelle Ryan
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Tyler Knight and Natasha Nice
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Tyler Knight and Natasha Nice
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Tyler Knight and Natasha Nice
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Tyler Knight and Natasha Nice
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Tyler Knight and Natasha Nice
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Tyler Knight and Capri Cavelli
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Tyler Knight and Capri Cavelli
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Tyler Knight and Capri Cavelli
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Tyler Knight and Capri Cavelli
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Tyler Knight and Capri Cavelli
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Tyler Knight and Capri Cavelli
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Tyler Knight, Andi Anderson, and Richelle Ryan
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Kayden Kross and Diana Doll
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Kayden Kross and Diana Doll
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Kayden Kross and Diana Doll
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Kayden Kross and Diana Doll
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Kayden Kross and Diana Doll
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Kayden Kross and Evan Stone
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Kayden Kross and Evan Stone
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Kayden Kross and Evan Stone
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Kayden Kross and Evan Stone
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Kayden Kross and Evan Stone
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Kayden Kross and Evan Stone
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Kayden Kross and Evan Stone
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Kayden Kross and Evan Stone
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Original post by DCypher

The porn parody you have been waiting for has finally arrived. Like a tiny, dirty time capsule it will tell the tale of one great man’s fall for generations to come, like Oedipus only not as gross.

“The media is like the weather, only it’s man-made weather.” Mickey Knox, Natural Born Killers

It seems like only yesterday that professional super golfer Tiger Woods was on top of the world. Then came the fall. The rest is, as they say, tabloid history. Even as we write this, the number of alleged mistresses continues climb more rapidly than an early stage venereal infection racing towards seroconversion. Mirroring this rapid growth phase like a tiny microcosm are the number of porn parody spin off’s, a walking zombie apocalypse of poorly constructed parody essentially holy unbirthed by the toxicity of the media event. The fact that two of the accusing mistresses are actually porn (escort) stars means that this twisted fairy tale was guaranteed to devolve into a living breathing simulacrum of Baudrillardian proportions no matter what happened—a sexual carnival colliding into demented Disneyland for adults.

Out of this mess, one parody dared to rise above the rest, labeling themselves the official Tiger Woods porn parody and claiming the controversy from day one. That movie was “Tyler’s Wood” from Adam & Eve. Directed by the ubiquitous David Lord, the parody de jour was the final contract movie for blonde sex goddess Kayden Kross before moving over to Digital Playground. Shot at the outset of the uproar, when news reports were adding details hour by hour, making the script an evolving work in progress, production did not wrap until the wee hours of Christmas Eve.

But can something born out of hype, wrapped in hyperbole, and spoon fed to the masses ever live up to its reputation? We’d like to think it just might, but in the end only you can decide. Which is why we’re going to refrain from too much commentary, leaving these exclusive pictures that only Fleshbot has to speak for themselves. We will, however, leave you with the scene order, so that you can work out who did what to whom.

“Tyler’s Wood” stars Kayden Kross fucking Evan Stone, as well as Diana Doll. It also has Tyler Knight having a magnificent threeway with Andi Anderson and Richelle Ryan before making sweet, dirty, orgasm inducing love to Natasha Nice. It is available now via the interwebs and VOD and will be out on DVD before you know it. Let us know what you think.

· Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)

Tyler Knight and Natasha Nice
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight, Andi Anderson, and Richelle Ryan
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight, Andi Anderson, and Richelle Ryan
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight, Andi Anderson, and Richelle Ryan
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight, Andi Anderson, and Richelle Ryan
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight, Andi Anderson, and Richelle Ryan
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight and Natasha Nice
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight and Natasha Nice
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight and Natasha Nice
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight and Natasha Nice
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight and Natasha Nice
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Tyler Knight and Capri Cavelli
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Tyler Knight and Capri Cavelli
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Tyler Knight and Capri Cavelli
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight and Capri Cavelli
Buy “Tyler’s Wood” (adameve.com)
Tyler Knight and Capri Cavelli
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Tyler Knight and Capri Cavelli
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Tyler Knight, Andi Anderson, and Richelle Ryan
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Kayden Kross and Diana Doll
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Kayden Kross and Diana Doll
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Kayden Kross and Diana Doll
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Kayden Kross and Diana Doll
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Kayden Kross and Diana Doll
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Kayden Kross and Evan Stone
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Kayden Kross and Evan Stone
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Kayden Kross and Evan Stone
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Kayden Kross and Evan Stone
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Kayden Kross and Evan Stone
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Kayden Kross and Evan Stone
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Kayden Kross and Evan Stone
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Kayden Kross and Evan Stone
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Original post by DCypher

“This Ain’t Star Trek“—the parody so nice, they made it twice. Much of the central cast remains the same for part 2 of this pornographic saga, with one notable exception: pornstar Keni Styles replaces Ero Sennin as Sulu.

Sulu getting laid? It’s like a vision out of our wildest dreams. Add to that the fact that the new female talent includes Kimberly Kane, Alexis Texas, Kagney Linn Karter, Kiara Diane, and Madison Scott, and, well, we know what we want for Christmas (or, more likely, some holiday that’s a lot sooner).

· “This Ain’t Star Trek XXX #2″ (hustlerworld.com)

Original post by Lux Alptraum

Alexis Ford’s Adam & Eve debut, “American Made: Alexis Ford,” has Alexis starring as a head mechanic whose team has been hired to do some work on Tommy Gunn’s fleet of expensive cars…but (naturally) spend their time fucking instead.

American Made: Alexis Ford

Studio: Adam & Eve
Director: Jim Malibu
Cast: Alexis Ford, Nicole Ray, Justine Joli, Danni Cole, Isis Taylor, Tommy Gunn, Evan Stone, Kris Slater

We can’t say much about Alexis’s work on cars, but if you’re looking for a team of horny girls to service your wife, your best friend, your employee, and you (twice!)…then you’ve come to the right place.

The plot of this film is not much to speak of—more a series of car-themed innuendos than a storyline—but, given the quality of the acting, it’s probably for the best that Jim Malibu chose to dispense with an elaborate set up and simply cut to the sex. Especially since the sex itself is quite good…assuming you enjoy (or can ignore) repeated puns about revving engines, detailwork, and why men are like cars.

The release gets off to a roaring start with Nicole Ray—apparently jealous of the attention Tommy Gunn is paying to Alexis Ford’s ass—promising to rev Tommy’s “big engine” (and then proceeding to suck and fuck him on the stairs right in front of his mansion’s front door).

Meanwhile, Alexis Ford is lost in the mansion, searching for Tommy’s wife Justine Joli, who’s none too happy about the time and focus Tommy’s cars are taking away from their mutual funds. So naturally, Justine and Alexis fuck. Luckily, they’re both handy enough performers (and beautiful enough girls) that we’re easily able to forget the silly conceit that led to their affair.

Taking a break from the grueling work of auto detailing, Danni Cole sneaks off to the backyard to have some quality time with her vibrator—only to be discovered by (who else?) Evan Stone in a thong speedo. If it were anyone else, we’d have to criticize the supposedly sexy choice of bathing suit—but come on, this is Evan Stone. He can wear what he wants.

Also taking a break from work: Isis Taylor, who sneaks off with Kris Slater (seriously, it’s kind of a miracle these girls get anything done at all). Isis and Kris finish off their whirlwind fuck session with a delicious tit fuck—and, by our count, incorporate the fewest auto puns into the mix, making this one of our favorite scenes.

Capping off the action is Alexis Ford’s scene with Tommy Gunn—and, we might add, the budding starlet’s first ever boy-girl scene. Alexis handily handles Tommy; we’re fairly certain this is but the beginning of a bright career for her. And we’re certainly looking forward to seeing her blossom into a full-fledged star.

As the end credits roll, the female members of the cast remind us that, while most products aren’t manufactured in America anymore, their nubile assets are 100% American made. At least that’s one thing that we, as a country, can be proud of.

· Buy “American Made: Alexis Ford” (adameve.com)

Original post by Lux Alptraum

For some, the word “forbidden” conjures up an illicit orgy of unacceptable images: bestiality, children, scat, golden showers, rape, and snuff. Lucky for us, Wicked Pictures contract star Stormy Daniels has a much more playful definition in mind.

Stormy Daniels’s definition of the word seems to involve the most banal of ideas: cheating spouses, poor guys from the wrong side of the recession, grade school teachers, and Republicans…just kidding, Vetter. Take it easy. She ain’t going there!

The truth of the matter is that Stormy’s “dark side” is like your average back alley Sesame Street day, with intermittent showers compared to the depravity we had in mind. Some things are just better left to the imagination. Still, rule breaking is rule breaking, and Stormy does it well.

To wit:

Daryn Darby and Scott Nails break the rules when they fuck in the locker room.

Eva Angelina and Evan Stone break the rules when they use crazy slang during a healthy fuck session. Actually, we’re not sure, but we think they may have fucked on Mom and Dad’s bed. Mom and Dad are gonna be so mad when they find out! Important side note: how fucking hot does Eva look getting the high hard pole from Evan? So tasty!

Lithe beauties Hillary Scott and Sophia break the rules when they let Lee Stone violate their tiny little vaginas with his foot and a half of cock, prancing around naked and presenting like wild animals out behind some building in the valley. It’s our second favorite scene of the movie, and a close second, right behind director Stormy Daniels’s sexy classroom faux pas.

Wicked Pictures contract superstar Stormy Daniels and Euro stud Manuel “El Clavo” Ferrara break all the rules when they get down and dirty in an elementary school classroom. It’s a bird’s eye view of what we wish it looked like when a Floridian loses her mind and nails one of her students. Yeah, right. Stormy looks good enough to eat—so naturally, Manuel devours her, using his considerable sexual powers to satisfy both her and us at home. We told you he was good!

Last but not least, newly crowned AVN Hall of Famer Mark Wood, Mr Pete, and Tyla Wynn break the rules when they have hardcore, nasty, no holed barred sex on the couch in front of Tim Allen’s avuncular and invisible neighbor Wilson from Home Improvement. What the hell? He was just trying to read the paper! Come on, people!

“Forbidden” is out now. Visually it looks amazing. We highly recommend that you check it out, right after you work up three or four good orgasms skimming through these sample photos.

Stormy Daniels and Manuel Ferrara
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Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Stormy Daniels and Manuel Ferrara
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Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Stormy Daniels and Manuel Ferrara
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Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Stormy Daniels and Manuel Ferrara
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Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Stormy Daniels and Manuel Ferrara
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Stormy Daniels and Manuel Ferrara
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Stormy Daniels and Manuel Ferrara
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Daryn Darby and Scott Nails
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Daryn Darby and Scott Nails
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Eva Angelina and Evan Stone
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Eva Angelina and Evan Stone
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Hillary Scott, Sophia, and Lee Stone
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Hillary Scott, Sophia, and Lee Stone
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Hillary Scott, Sophia, and Lee Stone
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Hillary Scott, Sophia, and Lee Stone
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Hillary Scott, Sophia, and Lee Stone
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Mark Wood, Mr. Pete, and Tyla Wynn
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Mark Wood, Mr. Pete, and Tyla Wynn
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Mark Wood, Mr. Pete, and Tyla Wynn
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Original post by DCypher