Newseater - Adult Edition

The cover of “Icon” informs us of two very important things. The first is that Hillary Scott is “just a girl with a dream”—what, precisely, that dream is is not explained, but we suspect that it has something to do with cocks. Secondly, the cover informs us that an icon is “one who is the object of great attention and devotion.” We believe this is what’s known as “foreshadowing.”

Throughout the three hours of the feature, you see, Hillary Scott is adored and devoted (sexually, even!). In at the spa, in a dungeon, in a theater, with girls, with boys, with both, in her pussy, in her ass, and sometimes both at once—it’s all about Hillary (even in the middle of an orgy, the girl still manages to steal all the focus). And when it’s not about Hillary fucking, it’s about Hillary making a movie: in between the sex scenes, we’re treated to scenes of Hillary and her crew making the movie. You see, Hillary’s not just an icon because she knows how to fuck; she’s an icon because she knows how to make fuck films.

There is also a music video about halfway through the feature, we’re not quite sure what it has to do with Hillary Scott, iconography, or fucking, so you should probably feel free to skip over it in search of sexier fare.

newVideoPlayer(”/hillaryscott_icon.flv”, 506, 423,”");

Should you find yourself unsatisfied by the three hour feature alone, there are three (three!) extra discs included in the package for extra titillation. What, pray tell, is the content of these discs? Special features contains standard fare (behind the scenes footage, a music video, trailers, and photos), bonus discs one and two are loaded up with scenes from other movies Hillary has been in. See, Hillary isn’t just an icon because she made a three hour epic porn: she’s an icon because she’s been in many other fuck films, too!

Really, the only question that one need ask is this: “Do I like Hillary Scott?” Because if the answer is yes, this DVD is a must have. And if it’s not, well—we’re sure they’ll come out with “Sasha Grey: Icon” sooner or later.

· Buy “Icon” (sexz.com)

Original post by Lux Alptraum

If you have a soft spot for submissive women and a hard spot for dominant ones, you will love “O2: The Surrender of O,” Ernest Greene’s self-described “fan-fiction” updating of the classic 50’s sexploration of O, the woman who learned that sometimes the best freedom was the right kind of slavery. Read our review of the movie after the gap.

O2: The Surrender of O

“We hate to be wet alone,” says Marie (Nina Hartley) of her new, incorrigible slave O (Bree Olson). “(But) we don’t punish because they’re bad, we punish because it’s fun.”

Marie and Mistress Nicole (Nicole Sheridan) are co-dominatrices in a clean industrial space to which O has hied herself to begin masturbating without permission. And this is not allowed.

In the rarefied world of O2, director Ernest Greene’s “fan fiction” updating of characters from Anne Desclos’ “The Story of O” (and the sequel to 2006′ O: The Power of Submission), everything requires permission and everything has rules. But the consequences are supposed to be fun.

So what happens in a D/s relationship when things aren’t fun anymore?

Before we get to that, let’s talk about Bree Olson and Carmen Luvana.

In the original, former Adam & Eve flagship contract star Carmen Luvana played the title character as Carmen Luvana herself is; a steely, no-nonsense sweaterminx who was all machine-crafted porn-star curves. Olson inhabits the role in a far-more cushiony way. It is easy to believe the sub in her. In fact, as the stern (but fair) Hartley and the Amazonian Sheridan put O(lson) through her paces, hanging her upside down, smacking tantalizingly close to her most secret places, O looks like a delicious and yielding piece of dough beside the two more angular ladies.

“You don’t have to see the first one to get the story,” director Greene says. But I get the feeling Adam & Eve would like you to. The first movie made a lot of money and still brings in a fair amount of cash each month, which is unheard of for a porn movie from two years ago (which is a much better way of saying “a two-year-old porn movie”).

The sequel finds our heroine still in love with the man she left behind, having even lasered off his tattoo from her tramp stamp area. But can she keep away? And will Marie be her enabler?

O is a sexual tourist, a servant of many masters, and the story of O is what constitutes fidelity in the master/slave relationship.

So the movie opens with this zesty little scene in which Olson is nothing but a willing plaything to Marie and Mistress Nicole. And this is fine. BDSM purists will love it as will fans of Hartley, Sheridan, and Olson, each of whom represents a body type characteristic of the generations of Porn in which she started.

But after her workout, Olson and Hartley start talking (Sheridan has been dispatched to In-n-Out Burger, where she will return with a bagful of Double Doubles that the ladies will wrestle in for the O sequel in my mind). As in real life, Hartley as Marie plays an impish mentor, suggesting to O that her “maintenance doses” of whupping might not be enough to scratch O’s itch.

“Why don’t you come up to the house?” says Marie.

The house! If there had been a budget for it, we would have flashed back to 2006 and the strange events at The House, a full-immersion “lifestyle” chateau in which masters, mistresses and their servants live their roles unfettered by aspects of common living like phone bills, nosy relatives, and Jehovah’s Witnesses. It was here that O’s character was swapped between the imperious Steven and his tragic brother Ray, and where O broke Steven’s heart.

The house!

O swallows her fear and makes the drive, and in a quick montage sequence that would have made Stephen J. Cannell rethink his career, she gets herself gussied up for the experience, removing underthings, self-shackling handcuffs, etc.

At the house, O meets Rita (Mika Tan) and Regina (Kayden Kross), who let her know that Marie is the prime mover in the operation, not the fellows whom she lets think are in charge.
“It’s a quite profitable business,” Regina says. “For us.”

But wouldn’t that make me a whore? we hear O thinking.

“Don’t even say it,” Rita says.

Now it’s time for more sex. For someone who so clearly looks like the late-model porn star, Kayden Kross sure works hard for her money. Unlike Olson, who looks the part of a welcoming sub, the porn-glamorous Kross must convince us that she really likes what she’s doing, and she does this in a post-shaving interlude with Erik Everhard. She and the Canadian Everhard engage in some cross-border trucing that is all about the north/south reconciliation and not about fisheries.

But things are going tough for O. Not only is Steven downstairs making Tan and Ava Rose do terrible, wonderful things, but his prodigal half-brother Ray (Tommy Gunn) also just checked in. O is distraught, and Rita dutifully runs to tell Marie. It’s a goddamn henhouse with buttplugs in there.

“Oh, poor O,” says Marie when Rita tells her the news, as if Marie couldn’t have prevented all this potential heartache. Like God, a dominatrix always wants to take the credit for the good times, but when things go south, it’s all about your personal responsibility.

Anyway, after watching O endure encounters with both cold Steven and hapless Ray (the brothers have a scene together - in which they talk - where I almost forgot I was watching a porn movie, save for Kayden Kross’ ass), puppetmistress Marie orchestrates a reconciliation between O and Steven. She even gives the soon-to-be-couple a ring with the inscription “Freedom is deciding whose slave you want to be.”

At this point I was wondering “what gives you the right, Marie?” when O said those very words on screen.

“I don’t,” says Marie. “But, like everything I have in life, I took it.”

So not only does O2 illuminate and glorify good D/s relationships as healthy partnerships between thoughtful people, it also validates Marie’s unsettling compulsion to meddle. This domme is topping from the side.

While now and then a performer seems to struggle with the lines he has been asked to deliver, my only real problem with this movie is that it looks like it deserved more money. It was like having to watch Lawrence of Arabia on a little black and white TV.

Regardless, as a sex film, as a lifestyle documentary, and as a flesh-packed, English-language telenovela, O2: The Surrender of O is, like its predecessor, another porn movie that transcends its genre. Come for the Nina, stay for the Bree.

Studio: Adam & Eve
Director: Ernest Greene
Cast: Bree Olson, Kayden Kross, Tommy Gunn, Evan Stone, Nina Hartley, Ava Rose, Trinity Post, Mika Tan, Bobbi Starr, Erik Everhard, Jerry, Claire Adams, Marco Banderas, Nicole Sheridan

Review by: Gram Ponante

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· Adam & Eve (adameve.com)
· Buy “O2: The Surrender of O” (tlavideo.com)

Original post by Gram Ponante

Men coming on each other; Jesse Jane pulling a Belladonna on Belladonna; Wholesale Chinese and Armenian stereotypes; David Aaron Clark eating a turkey leg; Slavery; The delightful squishiness of Shay Jordan (not to be confused with this); About as many sex scenes as there were men on the Edmund Fitzgerald; And “The Biggest Adult Production In History.”

Read our review of “Pirates 2: Stagnetti’s Revenge” after the gap.

Pirates 2: Stagnetti’s Revenge

Here’s how much money went into “Pirates 2.” When I opened the 4-disc box, three crisp hundred-dollar bills slid out. There was a code on Disc 1 that allowed me half off a 2008 Saturn Vue at the Porn Valley Galpins. There were free helicopter rides to the Van Nuys airport, and either Stoya or Riley Steele is contractually obligated to deliver your “Pirates 2″ personally, wearing nothing but your family coat of arms or company logo bodypainted across her eager frame.

But I only speak from personal experience. Your mileage may vary.

A movie of excesses, “Pirates 2″ is also an earnest attempt to be a family comedy – much like the “Pirates of the Caribbean” movies were, except with rimjobs in it. There are portions of the script devoted to loyalty, believing in oneself, and sticking up for friends that would not be out of place on “Hannah Montana.” That these elements appear discretely between scenes of guys coming on each other (just from a porn angle, “Pirates 2″ is dirtier and riskier than your average mainstream adult movie) was an uncomfortable marriage of childish themes with very adult ones, as if Digital Playground were trying to let the Sarah Palin demographic know that fisting was “super.”

The first joke told by anyone who writes about porn (and a joke he is under the mistaken impression of thinking he has invented) is the one about the sequels. It goes like this: “Whoriental Sex Academy 4 addresses the vital questions left unanswered by Whoriental Sex Academies 1 through 3.”

“Pirates 2,” on the other hand, really does pick up where its predecessor left off, cannily depending on familiarity with (and perhaps ownership of) 2005’s “Pirates” to figure out who “Serena” was and why Captain Evan Stone and First Mate Jesse Jane are searching the Caribbean for her. (Just so you know, Serena is Janine Lindemulder’s character from the original. She doesn’t appear, Jo-rel or Ben Kenobi-like, in “Pirates 2,” however).

An adventure that leads from Jamaica to the (Armenian owned and operated) slave markets to the high seas to the netherworld, where Katsuni’s magical Blue Pearl reanimates Tommy Gunn’s Stagnetti, “Pirates 2: Stagnetti’s Revenge” really is all over the place, and anyone who expects the story to make sense is, I guess, expecting too much. Ditto for the CGI. The pirate hunters’ animated ship moves through animated water, leaving no shadow and displacing none of it. The massive worm slain by Belladonna is about as realistic as Jesse Jane’s boobs.

But if the big effects are not even to the standards of late-night Sci Fi Channel fare, the sex and the scope of “Pirates 2″ are far beyond what you expect and deserve as average porn consumers. You expect an awful porn script? Here you get one that actually expected something of the actors. You expect scenery chewing from the men? Evan Stone and Steven St. Croix ably comply. You want Jesse Jane and Belladonna to fuck the living daylights out of each other? Check.

Not only that, but the strenuous sex scenes we saw in the theatrical (yes, “Pirates 2,” like its predecessor, debuted in a theatre) release are extended in the DVD set. So the thrill you got to see added footage of Minas Tirith when the “Return of the King” Extended Edition came out you can now feel when you see even more of Belladonna’s colon.

But in other areas the sheer quantifiables of the movie are distractions. The Stagnetti of the title is, despite Tommy Gunn’s performance, useless. He appears toward the end and, as it turns out, anticlimactically. Katsuni’s incoherent black widow character was both evil and had boobs. Stagnetti wasn’t necessary. The same goes for Sasha Grey. Sure it makes sense for Sasha Grey to be in the biggest porn movie of the year, but her presence and character are as tacked on as when everybody in class has to be in the school play, so suddenly Snow White has 40 dwarves.

And why was Shay Jordan not listed on the box? Her performance was wonderful. And why was Stoya only in a group scene? Both are criminal acts. Further inexplicability is achieved in non-speaking, non-fucking roles for Ange Venus and Adrianna Nicole (”I fell asleep on set,” Nicole said.)

Regardless, we persevere. We remember that “Pirates 2: Stagnetti’s Revenge” is a porn movie – and an excellent porn movie - with all the usual limitations even if, as shouted from the boxcover, it is “The Biggest Adult Production in History.” We still have four DVDs worth of delightful, turgid nudity.

Studio: Digital Playground
Director: Ali Joone
Cast: Jesse Jane, Shay Jordan, Evan Stone, Jenna Haze, Katsuni, Steven St.Croix, Tommy Gunn, Belladonna, Stoya, Riley Steele, Ben English, James Deen, Sasha Grey, Gabriella Fox, David Aaron Clark, your mom, Shyla Stylez, Shawna Lenee, Abbey Brooks, Brianna Love, Brea Lynn, Rhylee Richards, Charles Dera, Mick Blue, Manuel Ferrara, Marco Banderas

Review by: Gram Ponante

· Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
· Buy “Pirates 2″ (gamelink.com)

Original post by Gram Ponante

Naughty nurses have certainly been known help us feel all better—but there are some conditions that require the aid and attention of a doctor. After suffering from a serious bout of carpal tunnel (brought on by too much, uh, typing), we called in a few top experts to help us get back into tip top shape (and then some). After the jump, see them at work—and maybe even get a prescription for pleasure, too.

newVideoPlayer(”/doctor_1.flv”, 506, 423,”"); Most amazing hardcore doctor scene ever (pornhub.com)

newVideoPlayer(”/doctor_2.flv”, 506, 423,”"); Blonde patient screwed by doctor (pornhub.com)

newVideoPlayer(”/doctor_3.flv”, 506, 423,”"); doctor put his prick up a patient’s virgin butthole (youporn.com)

newVideoPlayer(”/doctor_4.flv”, 506, 423,”"); Lezzie love in the doctor’s office (youporn.com)

newVideoPlayer(”/doctor_5.flv”, 506, 423,”"); Cutie in the doctor’s office! (megarotic.com)

newVideoPlayer(”/doctor_6.flv”, 506, 423,”"); Russian Doctor Adventure (megarotic.com)

newVideoPlayer(”/doctor_7.flv”, 506, 423,”"); 2 Cheerleaders with a doctor (megarotic.com)

newVideoPlayer(”/doctor_8.flv”, 506, 423,”"); Doctor Fucking Sexy Young Russian Gal (Damn) (megarotic.com)

newVideoPlayer(”/doctor_9.flv”, 506, 423,”"); The doctor (megarotic.com)

newVideoPlayer(”/doctor_10.flv”, 506, 423,”"); Lesbo Doctor (pornkolt.com)

Original post by Lux Alptraum

We were delighted like Tony Montana atop a mountain of yayo to learn that the delicious Audrey Hollander would play the title role in “Everybody Loves Lucy” (to clarify: Hollander plays Lucy, not Everybody) and that her husband, Otto Bauer, would play Cuban exile Ricky. The only disappointment was that Hollander could not have been incorporated into the meandering storyline of “Pirates 2″. What can we say? The script called for a giant worm.

Hollander: “You mean this moneymaker?”

At the “Pirates 2″ premiere: If we were Riley Steele (pictured with Stoya) we’d just spend all our time gazing lovingly at ourselves, too.

Evan Stone with Teagan: “Fuck off, Fleshbot readers! I only read Deadspin!”

And now for something completely different: “Butch And Peaches,” the interracial Hustler pictorial that got Larry Flynt shot. “Larry Flynt: The Right To Be Left Alone,” an excellent documentary, is now on DVD.

Original post by Gram Ponante