Newseater - Adult Edition

To any and all of you who believe you’ve now seen Julianna Margulies’ hoo-ha, we regret to inform you that that is not what a vagina looks like. More than likely, it’s either a picture of Julianna’s thighs pressed together, a picture of her pantyhose seam, or a poorly done Photoshop job put together by someone with a limited knowledge of female anatomy and a whole lot of wishful thinking. Trust us, we know. (defamer.com)

Original post by Lux Alptraum

“I admired their soft slippery skin. It was just so exotic; I had never felt that way before. Looking at those soft underbellies and long slender fins was like seeing the face of God. I came out of my dolphin-induced trance and wiped the sweat from my brow. It was then that I realized that I had an aching erection.” Couldn’t invent a normal sounding fake problem like, “My penis is too big”? You just had to push it and go with the dolphin erection story, didn’t you? (salon.com)

Original post by Dashiell Bennett

Wait … so even after what we were told yesterday, now they’re saying that the Jimi Hendrix sex tape is a big old fake? We are shocked! What are you going to tell us next—that the Marilyn Monroe sex tape isn’t real either? (uk.reuters.com)

Original post by Lux Nightmare

Do these look like the pert, young breasts of a bright, young movie starlet? That’s the question on everyone’s mind as they look at this clip from little-seen indie adventure, “He Was A Quiet Man.” The movie stars a very creepy-looking Christian Slater and a very paraplegic-looking Elisha Cuthbert, and this pair of tits that may or may not belong to her. Consider the fact the she has thus far managed to go an entire career—including two hours playing an actual pornstar—without taking her clothes off and combine that with some rather suspicious edits and the general consensus seems to be those are not authentic Cuthboobs. Still, if you watch the video below and use a little imagination it does create the illusion of seeing her naked … and isn’t that what movie magic is all about?

· Elisha Finally Nude? (joblo.com)

Previously: Natalie Portman’s Ass Revealed (Again)

Original post by Dashiell Bennett

newVideoPlayer(”Rock_Her_World_2.flv”, 475, 376,”");
There’s controversy in the world of online jewelry advertising (when isn’t there?), thanks to a $5 million lawsuit filed by a model/actress who claims her tame, comedic performance was re-edited into this “quasi-soft-core porn” pitch for gold necklaces. Which is ironic when you consider how many women will feel compelled to feign vigorous “enthusiasm” when their own significant others spring some unimpressive shiny bauble on them come Valentine’s Day.

· “Model sues Szul Jewelry over Web ad” (nydailynews.com)
· “NY Lawsuit: My Commercial Looks Lewd” (ap.google.com)

Original post by Dashiell Bennett