Newseater - Adult Edition

Of all the strange mysterious mysteries of the porn world, perhaps the oddest of all is the porno plot. Fundamentally, porn exists so that we can watch two (or more!) people doing it—so why do we need some crazy set up to help us get in the mood? We may never have an answer to that question, but at least we can laugh at this this gallery of porno opening shots. Though we have to say, that rollerskating accident porno looks really compelling. (guardian.co.uk, via Violet Blue)

Original post by Lux Alptraum

newVideoPlayer(”/James_Bonds_Sex_Puns.flv”, 506, 423,”"); As you may be aware, the latest entry in the James Bond franchise, “Quantum of Solace,” comes out tomorrow. As far as we’re concerned, James Bond movies are only good for three things: Sean Connery, scantily clad Bond girls, and, of course, those super cheesy sex puns (okay, and also things exploding). Thankfully, Gawker Media videographer Nick McGlynn has put together a selection of all the finest Bondian sex puns: watch this video, and you’ll never need to see another Bond movie again. Unless they have a hot new Bond girl, of course.

· Clips from James Bond’s Best Sex Puns (maxim.com)

Original post by Lux Alptraum

We’ve seen more than a few bad pornos in our day… but none quite so awful as those imagined up by the readers of Cracked. Though, really, you all know you’re dying to see “Shins of Sin.” (cracked.com)

Original post by Lux Alptraum

A Swedish minister has resigned from his parish after infecting the network with viruses… while surfing for porn. If only the world’s religious leaders had heeded Belladonna’s advice. A well stocked library of porno DVDs could have easily prevented this tragedy from occurring. (theregister.co.uk, via Gizmodo, thumbnail via)

Original post by Lux Alptraum

How many times has this happened to you: you’re sitting down to watch a brand new porno movie, one that you’ve gotten really excited about—only, right as you’re starting to get into it, the actors go and ruin everything by having sex? Man, what is up with that? Why do pornstars always have to ruin a good scene by going and getting naked (or worse, fucking)?

Thankfully, someone’s finally come up with a solution: James Gunn’s “PG Porn” (produced in partnership with Spike) offers all the best of porno movies, with none of that nasty sex stuff. Get a taste of porn gone PG with “Nailing Your Wife” (starring the one and only Aria Giovanni and that one dude that was in that movie) after the jump.

. . .

Nailing Your Wife

· PG Porn (pgporn.tv)
· PG Porn On Spike (spike.com)

Original post by Lux Alptraum