Newseater - Adult Edition

“Holy shit. Look at you.”

That’s the first thing out of the mouth of the director of Vivid’s “Brand New Faces 10″ when he sees Pharyn Sparxxx for the first time. Me, I was like “Holy shit; look at your name tag.” Had she been the guy from those old Cheetos commercials, Ms. Sparxxx probably would not have got very far with that name but, as you will see, she’d look good even if her name was Asdjliklvf McNejfhkuedkued.

“Holy crap. Fuck, you’re beautiful,” director B. Skow demands. “Look at you.”

The Honduran Sparxxx appears before us in her first porn scene, and Skow, who when not faced with the likes of phat porn Latinas is always articulate and genteel, makes sure that the mission statement of the series - that no one featured therein has ever appeared in a sex movie before - be maintained.

But unlike other vignettes in this series, in which newbie women are paired with men like Sascha and James Deen, Sparxxx, who prefers women, gets a visit from Rebeca Linares. You see, they speak the same language.

“Can you even understand what I’m saying?” cries Skow at one point.

Could Pharyn Sparxxx be the next Strokahontas? Holy crap. Fuck. Look at us. We don’t know.

In that this edition of “Brand New Faces” is the tenth installment in the venerable seven-month-old series, a second disc is included with some of the director’s favorite scenes (not included: the treacherous Jean Laconia).

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· Vivid (vivid.com)
· Buy “Brand New Faces 10″ (gamelink.com)

Original post by Gram Ponante

“That’s what my boobs look like on camera?” asks the delicious and volatile Penny Flame in the pleasantly disquieting “I Film Myself 7.” “Holy crap.” For a movie that makes the performer the cameraman and the scene partner the viewer, you’d expect the resulting effect to be more claustrophobic than it is, and the production value (yes, it still matters) to be awful. Yet these scenes makes us feel like we’re fighting in some dusty place and our hot girlfriends just sent us a movie.

“They’re ginormous,” Flame continues. “No wonder you guys like me.”

The format allows for the performer to carry on a monologue in a bathroom.

“…Or why I like myself.

“…Having big boobs has nothing to do with why I like myself.

“…That’s sexy talk, Penny Flame.”

Flame and other performers, including Alexa Jordan, Missy Stone, Jean Jacobs (nee Laconia), and Scarlett Fay treat the viewer to an intimate view of how they look at themselves (albeit under the watchful eye of a porn director), and the result is a different, less frantic kind of porn movie.

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· Greedy Video (greedyvideo.com)

· Buy “I Film Myself 7″ (gamelink.com)

Original post by Gram Ponante

Original post by Gram Ponante

I learned with some sadness that I was not the first beloved porn journo to see Jean Laconia naked on film, as I’d been told at the time. That honor belongs, most likely, to the new Connecticut-based hardcore-with-feeling company Real Passion Productions (which is not a swingers site as I’d assumed), who shot the 18-year-old in solo and lesbian scenes last August. Don’t get us wrong, we understand the strategic value in telling a fib (I usually tell people that I am 8″ uncut when I am actually shriven and much, much larger so that they don’t get back in the cab screaming), but Laconia and her agent didn’t need to lie to both Porn Week and Vivid. I know that I would have had a crush on her if she’d been a 37-year-old Romney-supporting cargo loader with chlamydia. But I have delightfully low standards, as you well know.

· Real Passion Productions (realpassionproductions.com)
· De Jean Vu (gramponante.com)

Previously: Meet Jean Laconia

Original post by Gram Ponante

Jean Laconia was both of the AVN Expo and not of the AVN Expo this tear, as the 18-year-old was visiting Las Vegas for the first time and shot what she said was her first professional porn scene ever in a cramped room at Treasure Island. The Connecticut native is a stripper in Massachusetts, but is going to be making the move to Los Anghles shortly. In fact, she’s shooting for Vivid this very day.

See more of the prime of Miss Jean Laconia after the gap.

We are big fans of Scots director Gazzman. It was at last year’s show, in fact, that we were first treated to another 18-year-old’s very first porn scene, with Gazzman directing. This time the camera work was done by Gazzman associate Dave West, also of Harmony Films.

Though I didn’t mean to, the smallest amount of muckraking turned up a swingers website in which Laconia is featured in romps with other women. Homegrown or not, there is nothing that separates pro from amateur in porn if someone is being paid, so I hope Vivid isn’t using Laconia for “Brand New Faces” or someone is going to get his money back.

Laconia, as one can assume by her porn name, has a slight New England accent, and with her clothes on is just the type of woman you’d expect at a Patriots game. We don’t have a symmetrical sports comment about how she looks with her clothes off, other than to say something lame like “Touchdown!”

Strippers who cross into the world of porn have a slight advantage over their hooker, reality show, or never-had-sex-before counteerparts: they know how to find their light, arch their backs, and talk porny. It’s tough (and a little awkward) getting naked in front of a roomful of men with cameras in Vegas, yet Laconia boldly said, “If OI didn’t give you all boners, I didn’t do my job.”

(For me, it was too early in the week for the inappropriate behavior that characterized most Gawker employees, and I still maintained a semblance of my America’s Beloved Porn Journalist self. Like Jame Gumb, I taped myself down before entering the hotel room, just to maintain my integrity.)

Laconia’s second porn scene ever - and the first with someone else - was scheduled for today with Vivid. She doesn’t have a website yet, but she will.

· Gazzman (gazzman.com)
· Gram’s Gallery (gramponante.com)

Original post by Gram Ponante