Newseater - Adult Edition

Have you been watching the U.S. Open this week? Neither have we! There just aren’t that many compelling reasons to watch pro tennis these days. Other than sexy female players … and their short skirts … and the grunting and groaning they make when they smack the little ball … and the sweating. But other than those very good reasons, there are no reasons to watch! Although just like this video, the semi-finals at this year’s tournament will also include a brief subplot involving Peter North and a mermaid, so buy your tickets now!

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· “lesbians on the tennis court” (RedTube)

Original post by Dashiell Bennett

The art of seduction is a tricky thing, especially if you get all your dating tips from porn. Normally, all you have do is unsnap a belt buckle and that is enough to get the action started, but occasionally a slow build up is required instead. Back rubs are a pretty solid technique too, but then it takes much longer—if you do them right—to go from “how was your day?” to “let’s try out this strap on!” Patience is a virtue, but then again, so is a fast forward button.

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· “lesbian strap on scene” (PornHub)

Original post by Dashiell Bennett

While we are not the, er, house organ for Viv Thomas, we can explain covering two sequential titles in his “Members Only” series by saying that this one, confusingly, doesn’t have cocks in it. Why, then, call it “Members Only”? Is this one of those Euro things like how cigarette holder-holding vamps refer to their parts as their “sex”? Don’t they know what “member” means? Karen Black would know.

Yes, we are writing about “Members Only 6″ because the performer Eleanor looks surprisingly like a blonde Karen Black and, apropos of Ms. Black’s performance in “Capricorn One,” we are equating the faked moon landing therein with the cocklessness of a movie boasting only members. There.

The above insert of Black, by the way, is from the 1982 film “Miss Right.”

· Buy “Members Only 6″ (vivthomas.com)

Original post by Gram Ponante

Here’s a little word to the wise: never play “Truth or Dare” in a hot tub with five lesbians. You just know that there’s no way you’re getting out of that hot tub with your swimsuit intact … and who knows how many toys, fingers or other things will end up inside you before it’s all over? And we don’t want to sound prejudiced here, but why do lesbians always choose the Dare option anyway? They’re just asking for trouble that way. (Wait, did we tell you never to play this game in a hot tub with lesbians? Obviously that was a huge mistake.)

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· Lesbian Heaven in the pool (pornhub.com)

Original post by Dashiell Bennett

One of our favorite things to do on a muggy afternoon is to drag a $10 plastic kiddie pool out into the backyard, fill it with tepid water from the hose, and then boil ourselves (literally!) in the hot summer sun. If we’re feeling frisky, we’ll also bring some floaty toys with us. Of course, we always seem to get stuck playing with the little inflatable alligator instead of a bubbly naked girl—with a few toys of her own. That would certainly make the water a lot more pleasant. Maybe this year we’ll finally install that diving board and see if that changes our luck.

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· “two girls in a kiddie pool 1″ (RedTube)

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· “two girls in a kiddie pool 2″ (RedTube)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archive

Original post by Dashiell Bennett