Newseater - Adult Edition

There’s a reason why so many pornstars come in little packages: you can pick them up, you can throw them around, you can twist them into a pretzel—these ladies can do it all.

After our celebration of BBWs, we decided to come at you from the other side of the spectrum, with a salute to some of our very favorite petite ladies. Though their larger then life pornstar heels might make you think otherwise, most of these girls don’t pass 5′3″. Take a look at these girls in action—trust us, there’s a reason why people say good things come in small packages.

. . .

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Deep action with british Bonnie Hart (redtube.com)

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Throat Fucks Lana Croft (pornhub.com)

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Lexi Belle is excited about meeting with her bf (pornhub.com)

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Small titted Amy gets nailed (pornhub.com)

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Jesse James speared by a black rod (pornhub.com)

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Taylor Rain loves getting her ass rammed (pornhub.com)

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Gabriella Fox: Hard Candy 4(digitalplayground.com)

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Amy Reid is smoking hot (pornhub.com)

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Joanna Angel: XOXO Joanna Angel

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Jesse Jane: Cheerleaders

*****

Previously: Top Ten Videos Archive

Original post by Evelyn Leigh

Now that we’ve crossed the precipice into the cold heart of a lonely winter recession, it’s hard to recall the halcyon days behind us. Fading images wistfully haunt our memories like ghostly vapors, as we try to relive those days spent lounging and exploring new levels of excess—like when we had those 17 stunning lesbians come over to the sun drenched West Coast Fleshbot mansion in bikinis and frivolously frolic in and out of the pool in varying states of undress while midgets in diapers lend a vacillating air of depravity and absurdity. And just when we thought it was all a forgotten dream, Tera Patrick goes and releases her latest “all star” lesbian pool party movie… and it all comes rushing back to us. God bless you, Miss Patrick!

If our extensive experience in this area has taught us one thing, it’s that we can’t bring this many lascivious porn stars together without them eventually fucking each other senseless. And, as we’d expect, Tera Patrick, Daisy Marie, Daisy Dukes, Madison Scott, Kayla Paige, Angie Savage, Mya Luanna, Charmane Star, Lexi Belle, Maya Gates, Shawna Lenee, and several of their friends do exactly that, stripping out of their bikinis and lapping away at each other like kittens enjoying seventeen fresh bowls of cream. The results are disturbingly good, making us feel as immoral and decadent as an AIG executive with a golden parachute after the bail out. Move over, Hef—Tera wants to show you what the grotto should look like every single day of the week.

If anything, Tera’s given us hope in a way that even our President Elect can only allude to. While most of us will have to tighten our belts this holiday season, finding pleasure in the simple joys of life, we can always look forward to history repeating itself. Our eyes are glassy after watching these lovely ladies work themselves into a frenzy, dreaming of a time when we will once again be able to blaze up our medical grade hydroponic with freshly minted hundred dollar bills. In fact, with ideas this good, we’re thinking Tera for Prez 2012. You with us?

“Tera Patrick’s Pool Party” is available this week.

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· Teravision (teravision.com)

Original post by DCypher

The nuns taught us that “Tom Byron’s House of Ass” had many mansions, and we didn’t understand it then and we don’t understand it now. What is important is that this 10th installment is the last installment (”I’m going to take a break,” Byron says) and that in this house, Charley Chase has a fantastic basement.

What is the thematic difference between Byron’s series “Lord of Asses” and “House of Ass” other than, say, spelling?

Perhaps this confusion influenced Byron’s decision to jettison one of them.

“I’m known as the Lord of Asses,” the veteran performer says, graying and sporting a pair of hipster glasses, “so I thought I’d switch it up. I’m going to start a series called ‘The King of Cootchies,’ so I can have sex with all the pretty girls who don’t take it in the ass.”

Can you just declare yourself King, Tom? If so, then you would take the throne in an assless coup.

But back to Charley Chase. (And we mean it when we say “back.”)

“That was a big load,” says Chase when the deed is done.

“I don’t know,” replies Byron. “The old man has his moments.”

I also take issue with the title. The women in this movie - Lexi Belle, Scarlett Fay, Chase, Mina Leigh, Brynn Tyler - are all so much more than their asses.

I guess everyone has at one point shouted “Oh shit” when having sex. But if I were the script supervisor on this film I would have suggested that Brynn Tyler not say “Oh shit” in a place called the House of Ass.

“It’s going to be great to fuck you,” says Byron to Scarlett Fay as she peers at him over his penis. How does he know? Is he, like, Nostradam-ass?

So we look forward to “The King of Cootchies,” just as long as there isn’t a parallel series called “House of Cootchies.”

. . .

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· Tom Byron (tombyronshard.com)
· Buy “Tom Byron’s House of Ass 10″ (mondoerotica.com)

Original post by Gram Ponante

Sure, you know that Lexi Belle likes it big, but did you know that she also likes “Star Wars”? And “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air”? Or that she goes to Six Flags regularly? We didn’t—and we feel so much closer to the adorable adult star now that we do. You, too, can develop an artificial bond with little Lexi, just by reading her interview with Hustler. Isn’t the media magic? (hustlerworld.com, thumbnail via Ask Jolene)

Original post by Lux Alptraum

Say what you will about pornography, but you have to admit that it’s an honest medium: in a world of ironic this and post-ironic that, you pretty much know what to expect when you pick up a title like, say, “Teens Like It Big”, and not just because you’ve happened to chance upon a preview gallery from the Brazzers website of the same time during your online perambulations. It’s all right there in the title: Teens! Liking It! Big! Really, what else do you need to know?

Well, since we’re here we might as well tell you that “Teens Like It Big” stars such convincing porn teens as Kacey Jordan, Madison Scott, Hailey Young, Nikki Rhodes, Samantha Sin, Madison Ivy, and (most especially) Lexi Belle, all of whom prove in scene after smoldering scene that … well, they really do like it big. Not just “a little oversized” or even “economy size”; we’re talking like Billy Glide, fire hydrant, traffic cone big. Or pretty close, But yeah, big.

So what if the economy is a mess and our foreign policy is in turmoil and the whole world is going to hell in a handbasket? It’s still nice to know that there are at least a few things you can count on—and that watching Lexi Belle have strenuous intercourse with a giant one eyed wonder worm happens to be one of them.

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• Teens Like It Big (teenslikeitbig.com)
• Order: “Teens Like It Big” (adultdvdempire.com)

Original post by DCypher