Newseater - Adult Edition

It’s a sad fact of life that the quality of a movie’s sex scenes bears no actual relation to the quality of the movie itself. In fact, as anyone who has ever subscribed to Cinemax can tell you, some of the best sex scenes can only be found with very generous use of the fast forward button. This post from Nerve is a mini-salute to boring, slow, overwrought and downright awful movies that also include footage of two hot people getting on. Or failing that, Ben Affleck. Enjoy one of the only highlights of that Oliver Stone classic “The Doors” below. (Audio warning; video starts automatically.)

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· Top 5 Sex Scenes From Bad Movies (nerve.com)

Original post by Dashiell Bennett

Because we (and everyone else on the planet) are suckers for anything with the word “porno” in the title, we will probably end up seeing Kevin Smith’s upcoming film about two lifelong friends who turn to the always lucrative world of amateur porn to solve their money issues. The “restricted” trailer is now online—which sadly does not mean that you get a shot of Elizabeth Banks naked—and it did make us chuckle, even if we also learned that movie has avoided an NC-17 rating. (Which means you won’t get to see Elizabeth Banks fucking either.) So even if “Zack and Miri Make A Porno” is not an actual porno, it may have some redeeming qualities anyway. (Like Elizabeth Banks in her underwear, maybe? Come on, you gotta give us something!)

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· “Zack and Miri Make A Porno” (zackandmiri.com)

Previously: “Zack And Miri” Make A Porno Promo

Original post by Dashiell Bennett

Do you Hulu? Well, unless you’re a fan of old “The A-Team” reruns, you probably don’t spend a lot of time on NBC Universal’s copyrighted video service. You’re probably also not a 13-year-old boy, which it turns out is a big chunk of their audience. Why do you suppose that is? Well, take a quick look at the top 20 videos on the site this month and you’ll start to understand more about Hulu and it’s users. Almost every clip involves nudity, a sex scene, or gratuitous boobies. Sometimes all three! (Which is not necessarily porn, by the way, even if that does make a good sensational headline.)

It’s kind of disappointing, because searching through mainstream movies for even a hint of bare breasts is a time-honored tradition of porn-deprived youths everywhere. But now thanks to the internet, that process has been become streamlined and embeddable. No more renting crappy movies out of the bargain bin or staying up past 3 A.M. to try and catch a glimpse of Melanie Griffith’s breasts on Cinemax. Movies like “Animal House” don’t even get made anymore, because they have no reason to exist. These kids today just don’t know how good they have it

The again, the clip below will save you from spending $9 on “Hitman.” So it’s not all bad.

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· “Why Dudes Love Hulu: Free Porn” (alleyinsider.com)
· Hulu - Most Popular Movie Clips (hulu.com)

Original post by Dashiell Bennett

Dr. Joseph Suglia’s 2006 novel “Watch Out” flew under a lot of radars, including ours. As we understand it, the novel has something to do with the assassination of Britney Spears and a man who can’t get enough of himself—and judging from Suglia’s tongue-in-cheek, egomaniacal MySpace page and some of the copy we’ve seen (”I am the Him. The absolute being … The history of humanity is nothing more than a preparation for My emergence into the world.”, we’re guessing it reads an awful lot like “American Psycho” meets “Myra Breckenridge” Which is not a bad thing. But what really piqued our interest—and what will pique yours, we presume—is the trailer for the upcoming movie of said novel, which features the dreamy Matt Riddlehoover taking pictures of his naked manbits. Is it just us, or do you think someone watched a lot of Xtube in preparation for his role? (We can dream, can’t we?)

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• “Watch Out” (official movie website @ dikenga.com; see also IMDB.com)
• Joseph Suglia (josephsuglia.com)

Original post by sturtle

Watching good sex in a movie is good, but watching bad sex in a movie can be really, really bad. Perversely, however, watching The 50 Worst Sex Scenes in Cinema as chosen by the experts at IFC.com and Nerve can be pretty good too … unless you try to watch them all at the same time, in which case you’ll probably just get a headache. (nerve.com)

Original post by Fleshbot