Newseater - Adult Edition

There are a lot of sites out there that review porn movies. There are fewer sites that offer video reviews of porn movies. And there are even fewer sites that showcase videos of Teagan Presley reviewing a porno movie while getting naked and masturbating. In fact, we’re pretty sure that AdultBluReview is the only site we know of that fits into that last category. After the jump, get a sneak peak of Teagan’s review of (of course) “Pirates 2.” It may not be quite the same as actually watching “Pirates 2″—but we think it’s pretty close.

. . .

newVideoPlayer(”/teaganreview_fleshbot.flv”, 506, 284,”");

· AdultBluReview.com (adultblureview.com)

Original post by Lux Alptraum

We’re fairly certain that the bulk of our female readership is familiar with the ins and outs of female masturbation (this is a website about porn, after all), but on the chance that you’re still a newbie — or complete newcomer — to the wonders of jilling off, you’ll be happy to know that there’s a Turkish newspaper that wants to help you out. Yes, ladies, it’s true: in just ten simple steps (and with thirty minutes to several hours of free time), you, too, can learn to masturbate — maybe even to orgasm! On the chance that this thorough guide leaves you wanting, we’ve included some helpful resources (and video instruction) after the jump.

Rub That Snatch!! (pornotube.com)

Claire Masturbation (haporn.com)

· “Exploring The ‘O’ With Jamye Waxman” (fleshbot.com)

· Getting Off: A Woman’s Guide To Masturbation

· Marital Aid Test Kitchen Archive

· Let’s Masturbate! (letsmasturbate.com)

*****

· How To Masturbate for Women (haber27.com)

Original post by Lux Alptraum

We know as well as anyone that porn can’t “make” anyone do anything sex-related they didn’t already want to do, but when we read that “a 48-year-old woman with a stimulating electrode implanted in her right ventral thalamus started to compulsively self-stimulate” we realized that science was the final frontier for sexual compulsion debates. That, and we’d like to volunteer for future studies if anyone’s looking for willing lab bunnies. (mindhacks.com - thanks Praemedia)

Original post by Violet Blue

Fleshbot’s pixel restrictions prevent me showing this device to you as it looked attached like a naughty koala to the better part of my person. But if you’ve ever imagined shrinking an enemy and then fucking it like some cultural exchange between certain native tribes and the Porn Valley Chamber of Commerce, then the Curvy Woman Stroker is for you!

When I removed this device from its packaging (in addition to an overstock porn DVD that I could have chosen to watch [and this is entirely another story but I remember a time when a single unit of porn material would last from freshman through senior year, so to discount the usefulness of a six-scene DVD that never dims the way the Phoebe Cates scene did on that rental VHS of “Fast Times at Ridgemont High”…]) I was at first reminded of Ron Perlman’s misshapen monk character in “The Name of the Rose.”

“Penitenziagite,” I said.

Because the Curvy Woman Stroker does not really resemble a curvy woman in the porn sense, as you can see, but instead kind of looks like the zombie trunk of a pregnant woman or beer drinker, or pregnant beer drinker.

But all these mixed media messages, especially when beer is involved and nothing else on the horizon, might inspire the average consumer to say “Fuck it.”

And that’s where they’ve got you.

· Adam & Eve (adameve.com)
· Topco Sales (topcosales.us)

Original post by Gram Ponante

In some circles, female ejaculation is viewed as the Loch Ness monster of sex acts: questionable in origin, rarely seen, and possibly faked. We, however, have never held that view — but then again, we’ve actually had personal experience with the phenomenon (and yes, it was fabulous). Given the wondrous nature of the girl squirt, we’re somewhat surprised that it doesn’t appear more often in porn. So at the request of reader AnnieGetYourFun, we’ve happily rounded up some of our favorite squirting stars to help address that situation. Even if you still think it’s all a hoax … well, at least it’s a hot hoax, right?

. . .

Madison (wannawatch.com)

Charley Chase (gallery.itsabigblackthing.com)

Sophie and Jada Fire (wannawatch.com)

Cheryl Dynasty (nsgalleries.com)

Luscious Lopez (galleries.adultelite.com)

Jandi Lynn (wannawatch.com)

Angela Stone (wannawatch.com)

Cytherea (club-cytherea.com)

Lyla Lei (freemeatwhores.com)

Squirting Carly (squirtingcarly.com)

*****

Previously: Fleshbot Requests Archive

Original post by Lux Alptraum