Newseater - Adult Edition

It’s a jungle out there—and by “there” we mean “the living room.” Yes, camouflage has its benefits even in suburban environments, but the trick is that you have to keep the fatigues on your body. Once you start hiking up your skirt, it makes it much easier for predators to see you and then, well … you know the rest.

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· hardcore army brat welcome (PornHub)

Original post by Dashiell Bennett

We were reminded today—by North Korea of all places—of one the biggest truths that all real military geniuses understand: Women make the best soldiers. Why is that? They’re smart, resourceful, and can take a lot more pain that most men. Also, unlike men, they don’t spill all of their nation’s vital security secrets the moment someone unzips their pants. Training or no training, most guys don’t last long under this level of interrogation. Maybe dudes do a little better when it comes to blowing stuff up, but for on-the-ground intelligence, the best man for the job is usually not a man at all.

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· “military spies” (RedTube)

Original post by Dashiell Bennett

Hey there, Zabrina Aamir. We try not to get too crass around these parts, but we just have to tell you what nice bazookas you have. (Oh, and that heavy weapon you’re toting is pretty impressive too.) (gallery @ dachix.com)

Original post by Dashiell Bennett

How can we bring troops home from Iraq faster? Apparently, we just need to send them all porn, because that we’ll get kicked out of the country. Seems like a unusual strategy, but it’s just crazy enough to work. (bostonmagazine.com)

Original post by Dashiell Bennett

We have never understood the army’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. If someone in your unit were having forbidden sex—gay, straight, or otherwise—wouldn’t you want to know all the details? After all, everyone loves a man or woman in uniform—and putting all those sexy soldiers together on one base is just begging for trouble. The stories some of those drill sergeants could tell must be legendary. But sometimes it’s probably just easier to just record the moment, upload it to the internet, and hope that someone stumbles across it. That way, you don’t have to say anything.

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· “Anal in the Army” (Megarotic)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archive

Original post by Dashiell Bennett