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Amy Ried is a filthy and beautiful whore. What else do we need to say? If there is one woman who can singularly capture our deepest fantasies, it is this woman. In a word, she is glamorous.

Okay, okay…that sounds a little too much like box cover copy and not really all that objective, but seriously, can you blame us? I mean, go ahead and skip down to the pictures for a hot second and check out the snaps of this unrepentant seductress.

Go ahead. We will wait. We’ve got all day.

Okay—now you try and tell us that she doesn’t embody exactly what this movie promises: a super model looking babe with elegance, grace, and a certain “je ne sais quoi” who performs filthy whorish sex acts like a cum guzzling cock fiend in search of her next hit of crack. We can’t figure it out either—but we’re not here to complain.

Amy Ried is joined by Uma Stone, Kim Tao, Missy Stone, and Chase Evans, a daunting cast to be sure, even if they don’t quite live up to her standards. We found their performances to be haunting, arousing, and flat out erotic.

After the failure of net roots nation style politics to affect anything more than cosmetic change in the world, it almost feels wrong to ever even use the word hope again. And yet, still, this yearning persists unanswered. What are we to do? For example, what if we were to “hope” that future volumes carrying similar misdeeds from the likes of Kate Moss or please oh please Buddha the ineffably gorgeous and desirable Lily Cole—would that be wrong? We think not. These days it seems like anything is possible. The lines, like the fashion models, are getting thinner and thinner.

We’ll keep our fingers crossed, in between clicking and our “private reflection time” when we look at what Amy and her friends have to offer us. “Glamorous” was shot in HD. It will be available from Digital Sin next week. Look for it in finer smut stores both online and in the “real” world.

Amy Ried
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Chase Evans
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Original post by DCypher

Behold, we bring you good tidings of great joy! Buttholes worldwide sing their gaping praises to the master of backdoor disaster, Erik Everhard, as he releases his latest pucker-penetrating masterpiece, “The Letter A is for Asshole,” today.

Seasoned anal seductresses Tory Lane, Shyla Stylez, Kristina Rose, Missy Stone, Mackenzee Pierce, and Larissa Dee will captivate and amuse you with their sphincter defying shenanigans! Eric Everhard has started his own Hooked on Phonics series, exclusively for porn stars, and so far the results are extraordinary!

Tory Lane is like a demented voodoo mistress possessed by a mad lust for huge cock deep in her rectum. You can watch her transform before your eyes, her eyes rolling back into her head, the hunger taking over, and soon she is foaming at the mouth, speaking in tongues, and magically opening her anal cavity to supernaturally unreal proportions to take deep poundings down her chute. Truth is she both terrifies us and leaves us so hard we can’t wear pants for an hour after watching her. What the hell? It is amazing to witness and reminds us once again that there are more things in heaven and earth than were originally dreamed of in our philosophy.

Missy Stone is so pretty it is hard to imagine that she loves anal as much as she does—but, oh baby, she does! We can’t imagine getting more than a few thrusts into her tight little balloon knot and staring in those deep, breathtakingly beautiful eyes without dumping three lifetimes worth of load into her lower intestines. We can promise you that she would be dripping our silky pearl jam like a river of sweet cream out her swollen winker for days afterward.

Last but not least, we can’t say enough about sexy nerd Kristina Rose and her amazing anal acrobatics. With every captured scene we love her more and more and more. It’s got to be the bubble that does it to us. Sure she sucks a mean cock, pouting like a little girl slurping up a lollipop, but it’s the way she arches her back and juts that ass out, taking massive cock in her brown eye, that really takes us over the edge every single time. God bless her dirty little heart!

“The Letter A is for Asshole” comes out today from Erik Everhard and Jules Jordan Video. Check out our exclusive gallery, take care of whatever feelings they inspire, then go out and grab a copy. That should make for one pleasant weekend!

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Original post by DCypher

With a twisted pile of pornographic celebrity engaged in a wild thrash of unrepentantly orgiastic lust fulfillment, “Out Numbered 5″ is more akin to the raw sexual despair captured by Hieronymus Bosch than any actual porn movie.

At first glance, it would seem that porn’s great swordsman Erik Everhard has unwittingly captured the hell of neverending desire. With most of the images provided looking more like a bacchanal inside Nero’s chambers than anything else, a delirious fever dream designed to taunt and inflame as much as seduce, it’s hard to believe that this is actually a new porn release coming out of Jules Jordan. It’s more like several movies morphed together, with pieces of scenes yanked by hangman’s rope between boxes in the warehouse, putting together this diabolic delight, built to enslave the senses and confound the viewer. They fuck like animatronic sex robots conjured up in a dark sorcerers depraved dungeon.

Adding to the confusion is the fact that this movie might have been made over any period of history from the last few years, or yesterday. Most of the all-star performers have retired at least once, including Aurora Snow, Katja Kassin, Lisa Ann, Lela Star, Amy Ried, Lindsey Meadows, Mia Rose, Sasha Grey, Rebeca Linares, Brianna Beach, Missy Stone, Heather Starlet, and Joey Valentine. Is this a retrospect gangbang from the 2000’s or the explosive dark sexual ritual orgy that opens the doors of space and time and allows us to enter the next decade pure and whole and finally satisfied?

Everhard fucks like the high priest of some deranged coven of insatiable witch sluts. All who witness this wretchedly beautiful fantasy fall to their own ruin, bewitched by the spell of unquenchable desire, and destined to repeat a thousand lifetimes trying to conquer the illusory realms of samsara. Don’t say you weren’t warned, should you chose to tread where only Archangels and Bodhisattva’s dance with the souls of the lost and the damned.

“Out Numbered 5″ releases from Jules Jordan and Erik Everhard this week. We were happy to see Mia Rose getting DP’d. So beautiful, so young, so horny.

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Original post by DCypher

We heard they originally wanted to do “This Ain’t For Whom The Bell Tolls XXX,” but no one will finance a porn with Francisco Franco in it.

This Ain’t Saved By The Bell XXX

Studio: Hustler Video
Director: Axel Braun
Cast: Misty Stone, Missy Stone, Ashlyn Rae, Nicole Ray, April O’Neil, Ally Ann, Ralph Long, Mikey Butders, Eric John, Scott Stone

So, basically, the kids of Bayside High have jumped into another school year, and they’re all 18 now. Before the credits roll, some unnamed rogue flashes a random cheerleader (Nicole Ray) in the showers, and she sucks his dick. Post-facial, the bell rings and the mystery penis runs out of the girls’ locker room and past Lisa (Misty Stone), Kelly (Ashlyn Rae), and Jesse (Missy Stone). That’s about the most important detail. In other news: Screech (Ralph Long) wants Lisa, Slater (Mikey Butders) wants Jesse, and Zack (Scott Stone) wants Kelly.

In the typical parody porn style, Kelly and Zack have the last scene together. Although the tension between them builds throughout the movie, they don’t seem that eager to hump when it comes to it. Kelly arbitrarily decides to get changed for the dance (while sitting in the cafeteria, for some reason), and Zack automatically whips his cock out. I know it’s pointless to complain about the acting in a porno, but they should at least be able to act horny.

Also, a word about Eric John. Remember back when the Seinfeld porn came out? He was great in that (I thought)! He wasn’t necessarily funny, but he at least tried to embody the role of Kramer, er, “Crammer” in his cadence and spastic entrances. But since then, he’s consistently played the same sleepy stand-in with a big cock. His Principal Belding isn’t awful, but it’s saddening. As Sir Laurence Olivier said: acting is overacting, and Mr. Belding sounds like this.

The only things saving these non-existent bells are the extraneous female characters. Sure, it’s great to watch Screech bone Lisa instead of taking her to the dance, but that’s only because Dustin Diamond was out of the picture. The real heroes are Ally Ann, April O’Neil, and Nicole Ray.

Ally Ann plays some random chick who wants to screw Zack and Slater in the hallway for no good reason. Sadly, Zack chickens out because of his Kelly-fidelity. April (who needs to do more movies, even if she’ll only do lesbian scenes) plays an adorable activist nerd who has a finger -painting and -fucking session with Jessie. Nicole is that ubiquitous cheerleader, and not only does she suck the disembodied penis in the first scene, she’s also found underneath Mr. Belding’s desk while he’s disciplining some troublesome youths.

It’s a sad fact that parody porn writers have to rely on artificial fringe characters to make their movies work. I don’t think these extra bodies are inevitable, only that people find it hard to let them go. They’re exceptional (at least by proxy) performances make the main characters look dull, but hey, they give writers and actors a little more freedom and creativity, and a little less worry about keeping with canon.

Hey, writers! Maybe this means you’d be better without the parody.

· Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)
· Buy “This Ain’t Saved By The Bell XXX” (gamelink.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Zoiks! Screech Can Really Go

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Original post by Ottimo Massimo