Newseater - Adult Edition

Carlos Batts has released “Voluptuous Biker Babes”, a trippy combination of “Fear And Loathing in Las Vegas,” “Priscilla, Queen of the Desert,” and - I don’t know - Lucha Libre that features drag queens, desert dance-offs, and the ample talents of April Flores, La Cholita, and Bunny de la Cruz along with the leaner but no less tasty Audrey Hollander and Veronique Vega.

As we mentioned last month, Batts shot the film in roughly the same area as did Russ Meyer when the latter filmed “Faster Pussycat Kill! Kill!” in 1965, and “VBB” features just as much eye candy, if not more (considering it’s in color). Flores, La Cholita, and de la Cruz are trash-talking badasses who get stranded in the desert. And they must love their way home.

In their wanderings they meet psychedelic tea merchants (Otto Bauer and Audrey Hollander) and an arid extra-dry dance troupe, an encounter that leads to a wrestling match with drag queen Pa Fuschia.

Jerk-off material? Art? Way Beyond the Valley of the Dolls? You decide.

In fact, why don’t you decide in person? Batts and April Flores will be signing copies of “Voluptuous Biker Babes” tonight at Sunset Blvd.’s famed Book Soup between 7 and 10.

· Carlos Batts (carlosbatts.com)
· Book Soup (booksoup.com)

Original post by Gram Ponante

Hot and horny mothers are a rather significant porn staple, but fathers are far less likely to get any recognition as an objection of someone’s affection. MILFs may be hunted, but FILFs seem destined to be left in the corner (or forced to do hunting themselves). So it was with great joy that we unwrapped our copy of “FILF: Fathers I’d Like to Fu..” (or, according to the title card “Fathers I’d Like to F**k”—were they worried about offending the censors with foul language?). Finally, a tribute to all the sexy fathers in the world (and, inexplicably, Ron Jeremy as well).

Unfortunately, the FILF theme doesn’t extend much beyond the title cards. Yes, there are scenes full of older men and younger women: but this is porn, and that’s rather par for the course. In the features five scenes, there is no mention of taking the kids to Little League, no scenes of suburban dads driving home in minivans, no essence of fatherliness, period. Instead we’re presented with a prisoner and a prison guard, a patient and his doctor, a vacuum salesman and his client—it’s nice and all, but when we’re promised fathers, fathers are what we want to see.

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· Buy “FILF” (gamelink.com)

Original post by Lux Alptraum

As you well know, the term “Muffin Top” first appeared in Samuel Pepys’ description of London’s Great Fire in 1666 (”Pudding Lane…is what she eats…no kidding”) but it has taken until now to bring the Muffin Top to porn, probably since the Transsexual MILF craze has run its course.

“You caught my eye as you walked down the street/I was drawn to your middle meat” declares the “Muffin Tops” theme song. In the fashion typical of director Jim Powers, stars Brooke Scott and Marlie True begin the movie by doing a ho-stroll down a crowded street in broad daylight until they are won over by a man offering them jumbo ice cream cones Claudia Downs and Rucca Paige were also encouraged to buy jeans a couple sizes too small.

Powers in his boredom and despair (we approve of both) lets people like Otto Bauer, in his scene with True, improvise a Dada scene about avocadoes

“Juicy fucking fruit from a juicy fucking fat-leafed tree, Baby,” he says. Then he returns to the script: “Reach back here and open your fucking butt.”

Muffin Tops are so in demand in the world of this film that Claudia Downs (it is amazing she came back) is forbidden from going to the gym.

“That’s so sweet,” she says.

In the final scene, veteran porner Dave Hardman consoles Rucca Paige that Muffin Tops beat “90-lb. tweakers” all the time.

“Do you love my Muffin Top?” she sobs with joy.

If we didn’t know the work of Jim Powers better, we would say this movie is a celebration of femininity and empowering of the proudly voluptuous. But that was almost certainly not the intention. Still, these women are some tasty pastries.

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· Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
· Buy “Muffin Top” (gamelink.com)

Original post by Gram Ponante

We were delighted like Tony Montana atop a mountain of yayo to learn that the delicious Audrey Hollander would play the title role in “Everybody Loves Lucy” (to clarify: Hollander plays Lucy, not Everybody) and that her husband, Otto Bauer, would play Cuban exile Ricky. The only disappointment was that Hollander could not have been incorporated into the meandering storyline of “Pirates 2″. What can we say? The script called for a giant worm.

Hollander: “You mean this moneymaker?”

At the “Pirates 2″ premiere: If we were Riley Steele (pictured with Stoya) we’d just spend all our time gazing lovingly at ourselves, too.

Evan Stone with Teagan: “Fuck off, Fleshbot readers! I only read Deadspin!”

And now for something completely different: “Butch And Peaches,” the interracial Hustler pictorial that got Larry Flynt shot. “Larry Flynt: The Right To Be Left Alone,” an excellent documentary, is now on DVD.

Original post by Gram Ponante

Production assistants, or P.A.s, do all kinds of eclectic work on porn sets. For example, they must keep the craft services table stocked with Costco Skittles and the bathrooms stocked with Costco douche. But today all of that tedious toil paid off for this lucky P.A., who got to hold the stiletto heel of Ricki White as she got banged by Otto Bauer on the set of Hustler’s latest TV parody “Everybody Loves Lucy.” Being a human stirrup for the delicious White is a noble endeavor, and it’s for a good cause.

· Hustler (hustlerworld.com)

Original post by Gram Ponante