Newseater - Adult Edition

The gangling and pale Mina Meow is having pounding headaches, so she reports to Nurse Natali Demore’s office and promptly disrobes after describing her symptoms. Demore immediately chloroforms her and sticks clamps on her buttocks. See? It’s just like “Cold Comfort Farm”!

In “Medical Pain Sluts 2,” the petite dominatrix Natali Demore clearly has something to prove, else she would treat pain rather than inflict more of it.

Admittedly I was compelled as if by the power of Christ to write something - anything - about anyone calling herself Mina Meow. After all, I thought, could she be the new Strokahontas? But I was drawn into the drama of the scene, which lasted all of ten minutes and which didn’t resolve so much as left Ms. Meow curled in a supine fetal position with tubes in her ass.

I suppose it took her mind off the headaches…

· Bondage Orgasms (bondageorgasms.com)
· Buy “Medical Pain Sluts 2″ (cduniverse.com)

Original post by Gram Ponante

Milves turning their adult daughters into prostitutes, and then getting the process filmed. Is there anything we cannot accomplish with our positive outlook and entrepreneurial zeal? No. There is nothing. Thanks, GawkerMedia-sponsored Anthony Robbins seminar! But now the question is: What would you not want to see in your porn? Fleshbot readers like last week’s winner worked overtime. Now you must tell us what would get you the opposite of off.

· Evasive Angles (evasiveangles.com)
· Buy “Mama Turned Me Out 3″ (gamelink.com)

Original post by Gram Ponante

I admit that I have never asked myself how things might change if I only had an extra four inches (though I sometimes wish bank machines would dispense five dollar bills again). But I was intrigued at the thought of my parts being a third black, like I had vitaligo or was the 70’s-era Boston Celtics. That is why I tried out the Cyberskin 4″ Extra Thick Transformer Penis Extension. (BTW: Grimace is packing the Caucazoid version.)

“It looks like what they do with a cell phone tower when they try to make it look like a palm tree,” said an interested observer of the floppy rubber sleeve ending with a more turgid penis facsimile. “You can tell something’s not right but you’re not sure what.”

The feeling of tightness was not unpleasant, but it soon became clear that the Cyberskin 4″ Extra Thick Transformer Penis Extension would require some handling if the sensation weren’t to be like trying to write with a broken pencil.

I will not include a picture of myself sporting this thing, as my job is to write about sex, not inspire it.

So, holding on tight to the space between where I ended and the Cyberskin 4″ Extra Thick Transformer Penis Extension began, I guided the vessel into the interested observer and she sort of dug it, my being suddenly mixed-race and all. I felt like I was reversing the Bradley Effect every moment I was in there. But it was more work for me despite her enjoyment and - full but reluctant disclosure - the pudendum addendum, while longer, was not actually thicker. So it was like I was poking her with San Francisco’s Transamerica Building.

The overall effect was like jerking off in a sleeve while where I wanted to be was four inches away, which was very porny.

· Topco Sales (topcosales.us)
· Buy “Cyberskin 4″ Extra Thick Transformer Penis Extension” (gamelink.com)

Original post by Gram Ponante

Close Personal Friend, Nerd, and Penthouse Pet Justine Joli requested we tell you about an event November 17th for Manhattan’s You Can Thrive! Foundation, a charity that benefits women with and survivors of breast cancer. One ticket to Monday’s Burlesque Breast Fest Carnival at Madame X on West Houston Street guarantees the lucky entrant a night of burlesque, booze, and bawdiness. But Joli just sent along text. “What do you think this is?” we cried. “Don’t you know that the words are only here for the time it takes readers to unzip?”

“Oh, right,” Joli said, wriggling in her Wonder Woman Underoos. “Here they are.”

· You Can Thrive! (youcanthrive.org)

Original post by Gram Ponante

Exactly like Terrence Stamp reprising his role from “Poor Cow” 32 years later in “The Limey,” ex-con Ashley Blue reinhabits her character from 2003’s “Bitches Behind Bars” in “Escape from Women’s Prison.” (Scientists have proven that five years in porn is like three decades in the outside world - just look at 2006 AVN Performer of the Year Sassy McSassypants.)

Escape from Women’s Prison

This is a story about redemption.

Matt comes home to find stranger Ashley Blue smoking a cigarette. “Dad’s not home,” she says.

“Who the fuck are you?” he says.

“An old friend,” she says, exhaling. “You’re pretty cute. They’d like you in prison. Would you like to see my pussy?”

Thus begins Escape from Women’s Prison, a movie that neatly straddles the gap between a B-movie you wish had more sex in it and a porn movie you wish didn’t look so much like a goddamn porn movie. And for Ashley Blue it is the role of a lifetime, an excellent example of her self-fulfilling prophecy style of acting: she speaks abusively and is then fucked abusively.

She forces Matt to fuck her “prison style.” You see, she has been there.

“Suck my toes, Prison Boy,” she says. “Don’t rip my stockings, though. I got them for free when I left prison.”

Then:

“Get off me! Is that the best you can do? Don’t make me reach up there and slap you! Come on, you worthless fucker! Do I have to fuck myself? What are you doing? Am I too creepy?”

Yes, Ashley. Prison has made you creepy. Because Escape from Women’s Prison is actually an updating of 2003’s Bitches Behind Bars, a movie that Powers said was not edited the way he would have liked. So he took footage from the original movie, which starred then-porn neophyte Blue, and updated it with new scenes, using the old movie as flashback material.

Blue is paying Matt a visit because his father (Johnny Thrust) was the incompetent lawyer of her prison girlfriend, Maggie.

In flashbacks, we meet Maggie and Blue’s fellow prisoners. We share Blue’s anguish at having to make her own marital aids in the prison woodshop.

“Is this a shank?” a guard asks, holding a sharpened baseball bat.

“No,” she admits. “It’s a dildo.”

Naturally, the guard makes her prove it. And he’s not the only one. Warden Rod Fontana shows a different side from his genial Skipper. In fact, there are no prison employees who don’t take sexual advantage of the inmates. It is hard to believe in such circumstances that California’s prison guards have the gall to threaten to recall Governor Schwarzenegger for more pay. Look at the perks!

In all, the new scenes look better than the old ones (save for a nice bit of bluster from Fontana), and the update provides a rare look at how five years looks on a porn performer. For Blue, who never got implants, the half-decade interval seems to have not happened at all.

She and Thrust (whose day job is as Powers’ production manager) are the only cast members who return and, as far as I can tell, only they, Ben English, and Fontana are still in the adult business.

So why has Blue visited the home of her prison buddy’s lawyer? For some horrifying revenge. But you should see the movie to find out what that is.

Studio: Powersville
Director: Jim Powers
Cast: Ashley Blue, Jasmine Lynne, Maggie Star, Egypt, Ashley Moore, Rafe, Ben English, Rod Fontana, Johnny Thrust

Review by: Gram Ponante

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· Jim Powers (mrfilth.com)
· Buy “Escape from Women’s Prison” (gamelink.com)

Original post by Gram Ponante