Newseater - Adult Edition

We knew it wouldn’t take long, but thanks to our Porn Scene Investigators, the mystery of the humping shark has been solved. Loyal comment-smith Al aka El Negro Magnifico was the first in line to inform us that the clip in question comes from the tastefully named Fat Beach Patrol series (Volume 4), which we’re assuming is some sort of big girl Baywatch ripoff. Then brinomite—who claims to actually have had a hand in this bucket of chum—pointed us toward a slightly longer version of the clip, complete with dead-on Robert Shaw impersonation. The whale jokes were, sadly, to tired late to make any difference. Next time, try the far wittier “you’re gonna need a bigger boat” reference.

. . .

· Fat Beach Patrol 4 (PornoTube)
· Fat Beach Patrol # 4 DVD (cduniverse.com)

Previously: Fleshbot PSI: Find This Shark!

Original post by Dashiell Bennett

In what may be the beginning of the end of the golden age of free porn video sharing sites, Vivid Entertainment has filed a lawsuit against the ever-creaky PornoTube and its parent company AEBN—and is seeking over $4.5 million in damages. Enjoy those Flesh Flicks while you still can, kids! (sfgate.com; more @ AVN)

Original post by FLESHBOT

So the star of this amateur sex video that’s just been handed to us is pretty good looking (for a girl), but is it really indie rock’s favorite backbeat drummer Meg White of The White Stripes playing the skins? Naturally, we turned to the expert opinion of musical sex tape correspondent and family Idolator, Maura Johnston …
 

I don’t think it’s her. not because the woman in the tape actually has rhythm [Ed. - Zing!] … but because it doesn’t really look like her at all. Also she’s a big pop star, do you really think that she’d get it on in what looks to be a dorm room?

Fair enough. But the lady in question does have black hair, big tits, and it would explain the “acute anxiety” that caused the cancellation of her tour—which come to think of it are also the exact same excuses we would have used to verify the Britney Spears tape that never was. On second thought, maybe we just have the wrong pop star.

- - -

— White Stripes Drummer Sex Tape? (PornoTube)
· “Meg White’s So-Called Sex Tape Gives Hacky Bloggers Yet Another Reason To Use The Phrase ‘Icky Thump’” (Idolator; see also commentary @ Brooklyn Vegan, Stereogum, and Oh No They Didn’t!)

* * * * *

Previously: You’ll Be Shocked To Learn Who’s In This Sex Tape (Assuming You’ve Heard Of Her, That Is), VH1’s “Rock Of Love” Porn Star?, BREAKING: Britney Spears Sex Tape, Maybe

Original post by FLESHBOT

It’s been long established that one of the few groups you can tease/insult/build a hardcore fantasy site around and not get into trouble is the Amish. It’s not because they’re easy targets or because they somehow deserve it—it’s because the chances of one of them going online and tracking you down are pretty slim. We introduced you to Emily from Mennonite Mayhem before, but for those who couldn’t raise enough barns to pay the membership fees, here’s a video to give you a taste of what you’re missing. We know a lot of Luddites who have changed their ways after a visit to PornoTube, so at the very least you’ll have a new found appreciation for the importance of electricity.

- - -

· “Amish Mennonite Emily Hardcore Creampie Fuck!” (PornoTube)

* * * * *

Previously: Mennonite Mayhem: Hardcore Amish Amateur Porn, Flesh Flicks Archives

Original post by FLESHBOT

If there’s one good thing about this ultra-paranoid, hyper-surveilled government nanny state our world has become, it’s that pretty much every sex act that takes place anywhere gets caught on camera. Security cams, web cams, cellphone cams … if you’re getting busy anywhere that isn’t a pitch black airtight container, chances are it’s being recorded and will eventually be uploaded to the web. There are so many different places for you to get caught that the only limit is the imagination of the pervs who are spying on you. By the way, we certify that every one of these clips is 100% genuine amateurs caught unawares, having sexual relations that were not at all staged. The internet wouldn’t lie to us.

- - -

· Bathroom (Shufuni)

- - -

· Laundry Room (Shufuni)

- - -

· Living Room (Shufuni)

- - -

· Elevator (Shufuni)

- - -

· Parking Garage (Shufuni)

- - -

· Wood Shop (PornoTube)

- - - -

· Office (Shufuni)

- - -

· Another Office (PornoTube)

- - -

· Office Kitchen (Haporn)

- - -

· Back Alley (Shufuni)

- - -

· strippers backstage … OR cheerleaders after practice? You decide. (Shufuni + Haporn)

* * * * *

Previously: Video Playpen Archive

Original post by FLESHBOT