Newseater - Adult Edition

In Wicked’s new “Wedding Bell Blues”, the always delightful Kirsten Price plays a bride-to-be with a serious case of cold feet whose friends try to convince her why giving up a life of carefree sexual encounters with total strangers for the regimented monotony of married life is a Good Thing. But it’s all done with a light touch: director Jonathan Morgan’s customary sense of humor helps to leaven the film’s soul-crushing message that patriarchal oppression always triumphs over a woman’s right to control her own destiny. In fact, it all turns out to be quite hilarious!

Keener minds than ours may choose to watch the film with a more critical eye attunded to its potential antifeminist nuances. Then again, with Kristin’s coevals Ann Marie Rios, Nicole Sheridan, and Samantha Sin rounding out the cast and sex this hot—not to mention the sight of Randy Spears in the most ridiculous looking fright wig we have ever seen—we’re not entirely sure anyone will be paying much attention to the finer points of story line anyway.

galleryPost(’weddingbellblues’, 22, ‘’);

• “Wedding Bell Blues” (DVD info @ wickedpictures.com)

Original post by DCypher

How do we know that Bob (Randy Spears) is a virgin and May (Carmen Hart) is a lonelyhearts spinster? Well, they both wear glasses. In Wicked’s cable-ready takeoff of “The 40-Year-Old Virgin,” Bob and May learn to overcome their shyness, marry, and conceive in this uplifting, gauzy, and utterly non-threatening porn that made us wonder how Max Hardcore might have handled the same script.

Our only request of Wicked in its quest to be the undisputed top couples-friendly porn company: turn on the lights and wipe the Vaseline off the lens; we won’t be scandalized if you turn the fluorescents on.

And Wicked features tend to have happy endings in more ways than one, which we appreciate.

· Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
· Buy “Love for the First Time” (gamelink.com)

Original post by Gram Ponante

Porn ripoffs parodies of things that were topical three years ago are like settling into a comfortable pair of shoes: they are familiar and safe, and make us think of a time when gas wasn’t so expensive, it looked like the Democrats would win in 2008, and “The Sopranos” was still on. We received Wicked’s “The Housewives of Amber Lane” recently and thought, “Awww, at least it’s not ‘Britney Rears’.”

A star vehicle for veteran pornstress Amber Lynn, any intellectual property-type objection we might have is countered with, “Aw why shouldn’t Amber Lynn have a movie named after her?”

Don’t look at us! Look at dreamy Nick Manning! What’s the matter with you?

Performer/director Randy Spears presents two shots of superhero housewives floating mysteriously above their partners.

You will never see belly fat or floppy boobs in a Wicked feature. Maybe that should be their motto instead of “What Excites You.”

· Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
· Buy “Housewives of Amber Lane” (gamelink.com)

Original post by Gram Ponante

Time was when you couldn’t watch a new porn release without seeing veteran swordsman Randy Spears marinating his pickle in some barely legal starlet. In an attempt to dominate the adult feature market by locking down one of its strongest performer-slash-actors, Wicked Pictures signed Spears to an exclusive contract and after making his directorial debut for the company we haven’t heard much from him since. In the meantime, while other male performers have jockeyed to fill the vacuum left by Spears’ absence, we’ve heard barely a peep from the man himself … and now we know why.

This week, an undercover team of crack reporters have managed to find out what’s been keeping Spears distracted this whole time: it seems that he’s been keeping company with the likes of Demi Delilah, Daisy Marie, Maya Gates, Sienna West, and Cassandra Cruz over at Madame Demi’s agency for hot Latina babes and the men who love them. Let’s hope things work out better for Spears than they did for that Spitzer character (and that none of her clientele turn out to be INS agents).

galleryPost(’latinahollywoodhookers’, 20, ‘’);

· “Latina Hollywood Hookers” (Adult DVD Empire)
· Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)

Original post by DCypher

Contrary to the elegant boxcover copy, not “everyone gets a second chance at love.” But at least you know what kind of movie this will be. Kaylani Lei and Randy Spears prove that in the afterlife, even the dead do it in this movie with a self-fulfilling prophecy for a title.

See more snaps after the gap.

. . .

Andy (Randy Spears) is dead. Beckoned by the angelic Kaylani Lei through a freestanding door in the middle of the desert, he finds himself in a screening room playing some of his life’s greatest hits. But unlike Hollywood fare like “Defending Your Life” or “It’s A Wonderful Life,” porn gets to deal with the heavenly flashback trope by letting our hero view his conception.

How different would my life be if mom was Hollie Stevens?

Then we fast-forward about 40 years (though it’s only supposed to be 20) and watch a mop-topped Haight-Ashbury Andy thanking Kendall Brooks for his birthday mandolin. Unfortunately, Kendall too eagerly subscribes to that era’s will to free love. Poor Andy cradles his mandolin while sitar music plays.

Does he lose her because he couldn’t stand her free-spiritedness? Did he later lose his wife (Brooke Banner) because he was an insensitive lover?

“It’s not a judgment,” Kaylani says. “It’s a review.”

Well, it really was a judgment, but no one said angels weren’t passive-aggressive. Andy discovers that he must learn one thing in this netherworld way station before he is sent back, and Kaylani is just the person to teach it to him.

Like last year’s “Pleasure Principle”, this Wicked picture is ideal for couples, if just a little preachy to the converted.

· Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
· Buy “Rise” (gamelink.com)

Original post by Gram Ponante