Newseater - Adult Edition

newVideoPlayer(”/Gilligan_porn.flv”, 506, 423,”"); Last night on “Porntertainment Tonight”—er, sorry, “Entertainment Tonight”—the team took a look, hard look at “This Ain’t Gilligan’s Island XXX.” Porn spoofs! So cutting edge! Frankly, we’re torn between wanting to mock ET for its recent infatuation with porn… and kinda being excited that a mainstream TV show is spending so much time talking about porn. Think they’ll have us on as a guest expert?

Original post by Lux Alptraum

Hot and horny mothers are a rather significant porn staple, but fathers are far less likely to get any recognition as an objection of someone’s affection. MILFs may be hunted, but FILFs seem destined to be left in the corner (or forced to do hunting themselves). So it was with great joy that we unwrapped our copy of “FILF: Fathers I’d Like to Fu..” (or, according to the title card “Fathers I’d Like to F**k”—were they worried about offending the censors with foul language?). Finally, a tribute to all the sexy fathers in the world (and, inexplicably, Ron Jeremy as well).

Unfortunately, the FILF theme doesn’t extend much beyond the title cards. Yes, there are scenes full of older men and younger women: but this is porn, and that’s rather par for the course. In the features five scenes, there is no mention of taking the kids to Little League, no scenes of suburban dads driving home in minivans, no essence of fatherliness, period. Instead we’re presented with a prisoner and a prison guard, a patient and his doctor, a vacuum salesman and his client—it’s nice and all, but when we’re promised fathers, fathers are what we want to see.

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· Buy “FILF” (gamelink.com)

Original post by Lux Alptraum

Gallons of (digital) ink have already been spilled trying to get to the roots of why so many Americans revile Rethuglican Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin yet have such an overwhelming desire to see her fucked hard in each and every hole. With most of the planet (rightly) believing that there’s a lot at stake in this election, media pundits mirror the angst of the public—the thinly veiled rage boiling just under the surface after nearly a decade of corruption, bald faced lies, obfuscation of justice, and arrogant entitlement at the expense of the rest of the us—by pointing out every misstep of the gun toting Wasilla beauty queen. One member of the media elite even referred to Palin as the ultimate pin-up girl for people who don’t believe in masturbation.

With less than two weeks until the election, the GOP has turned on itself, pointing fingers at each other and actualizing the kind of erratic behavior they’ve been accused of for months now. The bottom line is that there’s more than a likely chance (if polls are any indication) that the neo-con and evangelicals’ new favorite cheerleader will soon be packing up her $150,000 wardrobe and heading back to the crystal meth capital of Alaska while Tina Fey goes back to work at 30 Rock. But where will that leave the rest of us? Holding our proverbial dicks in our virtual hands—that’s where!

But wait, there’s hope! As we’ve discussed at length, freedom fighter and political antagonist Larry Flynt has been hard at work, producing a sex parody that’ll give the nation ample fodder to get our electoral rocks off. We may never get to the roots of why we find her so eminently fuckable, but at least we’ll always have a souvenir of the days before this great country rode over the edge of the abyss with divisive partisan politics. In these last dark hours, before we lose the ability to believe in “hope” or “change,” let’s enjoy this fine pornographic accomplishment together. We’re sure the memory of its beautiful hardcore action will keep us going this time next year, when we’re roasting pigeons over our trashcan fires, huddling together for warmth in one of the sprawling tent cities soon to be springing up all over America!

We’d like to imagine that one day soon Sarah herself will watch it—ideally, naked on all fours wearing only those sexy MILF glasses, with the First Dude mounting her from behind while she screams at the top of her lungs “Drill Baby Drill!!”

What? Too soon? Yeah… maybe you’re right.

Thanks to Hustler for this exclusive gallery (only on Fleshbot, kids!), and to Larry for—yet again—being the only one think about the pervert vote.

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· Hustler (hustler.com)

Original post by DCypher

Like Hal Holbrook with Mark Twain and Sam Waterson with Abraham Lincoln, Jada Fire is our generation’s premiere interpreter of Condoleezza Rice. “This is the second time I’ve played Condi,” Fire said on the set of “Who’s Nailin’ Paylin?” this weekend. “The first time was in ‘Spunk’d‘ when I knocked George Bush into a pool of come.”

“Who’s Nailin’ Paylin?” also features Lisa Ann (and Sindee Jennings) as “Serra Paylin” and Nina Hartley as “Hillary.”

But it is the Brick House Fire who has twice been called upon to channel Rice, herself the only National Security Advisor-turned-Secretary of State to have an oil tanker named after her.

“She’s got a great ass,” Fire noted.

Would Mdm. Secretary be honored?

“Condi’s gonna kill me,” Fire said.

· Hustler (hustler.com)

Original post by Gram Ponante

If you’re like us, you’ve spent the past few weeks wondering who, exactly, gets to nail “Serra Paylin” in Hustler’s “Who’s Nailin’ Paylin? Adventures of a Hockey MILF.” Thankfully, Hustler just released the script for this epic achievement, and it turns out the answer is “Everyone.” Somehow, we’re not that surprised (though given that Lisa Ann, Nina Hartley, Jada Fire, and Sindee Jennings are all signed on as stars, we’re more than a little excited.).

·The Script of Who’s Nailin’ Paylin?(hustlerworld.com)

Original post by Lux Alptraum