Newseater - Adult Edition

· ZOMGGGG … Playboy has special content created specifically for the Magic Jesus Phone! Looks like that crazy new device might just be a hit after all! (playboy.com; more hype @ avn.com)

· Speaking of … we were just thinking today that what Macau really needs is a Playboy Mansion. Now our timeshare there won’t go to waste! (abcnews.go.com)

· Brooke Burke and Brooke Burns are not the same person. Trust us—we checked very closely. (gorillamask.net)

· Hookers will no longer be called prostitutes in Britain, although if you still want to call your girlfriend a “dirty whore” in bed then take your chances. (yahoo.com)

· Because we’ve gone almost an entire week without an adult awards show, you better get your nominations in for the next one. Seriously, when is it our turn to win? (bestadultawards.com, via xbiz.com)

· Some dude in Denver wants to put a stop to Ladies’ Nights, because they discriminate against men. Word is that he will also be the chairperson of the city’s next Sausage Festival. (westword.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

Original post by Dashiell

· Has Dita Von Teese been turned into a robot? Now she’ll never be stopped! (dailypoa.com)

· American “pornstar” Courtney Coventry is questioned in the investigation for some sort of British bribing scandal that we don’t really understand. But hey, free trip to London, right? (thesun.co.uk)

· The FBI agent in charge of 2257 inspections says the adult companies aren’t doing so hot when it comes to record keeping. Maybe the owners should talk to that Courtney chick. (thesun.co.uk)

· Remember Daniella Cicarelli and her sex on the beach escapade? Turns out she now owes YouTube money because she complained. The lesson? Do not fuck with Google. Ever. (Boing Boing)

· Australia would like you to know that if you speed in your car, it’s because you have a small dick. Sorry you had to find out this way. (upi.com)

· So a Polish magazine runs a picture of their President and Prime Minister sucking on the tits of German Chancellor Angela Merkel (on the cover!) and somehow people are upset by that? Those Europeans are so touchy. (yahoo.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

Original post by Dashiell

· It’s a few months old (at least), but we couldn’t resist sharing this photo reposted from BME on a blog called Horrible Tattoos—which apparently is the place for anyone who has a problem with two penises coming out of someone’s ass. And butterflies. Why do you hate butterflies? (horribletattoos.blogspot.com)

· Hey, we’re big fans of public sex, but maybe a public pool is not the best choice of venue for it. Although “I was just showing off my new breast implants” is a pretty good alibi. (wesh.com)

· A golf course, on the other hand, is perfect for strippers, lap dances, and sex acts. That would certainly help the TV ratings for most PGA events. (with video! @ poconorecord.com)

· Life is sweet at Florida’s only (legal) clothing-optional beach. Maybe not as fun as the golf course or the pool, but still sweet. (beaconnewspaper.com)

· Yeah … why should public nudity be illegal? Look at all the fun we’re having with it. (americanchronicle.com)

· The first two people to be charged under the CAN-SPAM act are found guilty of sending unsolicited porn emails. The good news is they can quit their job and earn thousands a week working from prison! (infoworld.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

Original post by Dashiell

· You will never find another group of spokespeople anywhere who are this excited to talk about clean bums. Plus, bare ass in Times Square! (cleanishappy.com, via adage.com via Gawker)

· Superproducer Brian Grazer and sort-of-okay director Brett Ratner are bringing Hugh Hefner’s life story to the big screen. We wonder if there will be any nudity. (variety.com + Defamer)

· What the hottest new fashion trend for young brides? See-through wedding dresses. Is it bad luck for the groom to see the bride’s boobs before the wedding? (ekstrabladet.dk)

· Another American tourist ruins it for the rest of us by taking a nude bath in Rome’s historic Barcaccia fountain. You can’t take us anywhere. (reuters.com)

· Would you give up sex before giving up your cellphone? If you’re that attached to your handheld friend, you probably weren’t getting laid anytime soon anyway. (tech.blorge.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

Original post by Dashiell

· Hey, Lindsay Lohan, how that’s rehab program going? Which one of the 12 steps is “ride around on a giant tricycle while wearing a bikini? (egotastic.com)

· Finally, someone is rewarding Marisa Miller for her obvious talents. If you don’t think looking this hot is a talent, you must not get out very much. (drunkenstepfather.com)

· Remember Dutch hottie Katja Schuurman? Maybe these photos will jog your memory. (glizzy.nl)

· What the hell is going on with this giant inflatable monkey and his crotch? We don’t think your kids should be playing in there. (giantmonster.com, via random-good-stuff.com, more @ Boing Boing)

· Here’s a list of the only video games in the history of the Entertainment Software Rating Board to ever receive an Adults Only rating. You say “Strong Sexual Content” like it’s a bad thing. (Kotaku)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

Original post by Dashiell